Kathmandu Kultures... Not racist....

How do we divide people into groups?

We take what's common in them and separate.

Simple. And of course then we study them. Culture- way of life... you cannot call the whole group "good" or "bad" though. Cannot hurt their feelings. Basic anthropology or sociology... people study.

Personally, I dont think people should be divided into groups. But that's how the world works right now. Black Skin, White Skin, Arabs, Hindu, Muslim, Jew, Communist, Congress, Liberal... You always belong into a group... and you bad mouth the groups you don't belong to... Everyone is a racist pig. I guess that's how Nepal would be working... separate state for Newars, or Magars, or Tamangs...

Nepal is too big for me to talk about. I wanted to talk about Kathmandu. I believe Kathmandu has a culture.

I know you studied in grade 9 "सामाजिक शिक्षा" that Kathmandu is a metropolitian. You studied that it was traditionally a Newar settlement, but then it became the capital of Nepal.

Well, people from all over the country come here, begin forging a dream of Building a home in the valley, and as we can see from the population NOW that most of them have made their dream a reality.

We have always been taught that there exists so many different nationals- casts and creed, there is no single Kathmandu Culture. But there is. Certainly among the Youths of this place. My primary argument is based on very specific feelings I get from different hangouts within the valley. My Analysis may be Subjective, Biased, Racist, or Downright Stupid. But Hell with it, I have freedom of speech!!!


Malls:

There is this huge surge of big looking buildings everywhere in Kathmandu. I don't think architects design 3 storey buildings anymore, especially if its a roadside plot. And most of these buildings are malls. UWTC, City Center, Kathmandu Mall, Bhatbhateni Supermarket. You will mostly find the stereotypical 'lets go to a mall because I speak ENGLISH with the "Huncha Ni Like..." Phrase and accent' people.And I am always Amazed by the number of turnouts in those places.

I have a theory. People in Kathmandu, have a LOT of MONEY. Yeah... Pulsar, Ambition, Unicorn, Karizma, Yamaha FZ, R15, all those bikes, commonly seen in Kathmandu... at an average, they cost 2 LAKHS easy. That's 5 zeros... notice the cars the next time you go out. Not the small ones, The big ones. Tuscon, Pajero... more than 20 Lakhs... a new green pajero costs 1.3 corores. 7 zeros. Just for Fun sake, go to Kumaripat or those underground parkings in malls or in Durbar Marg, and count.

Durbar Marg:

Last week, I went to Sherpa Mall for the first time. There were those 'English speaking Nepali Citizenship, never been outside Kathmandu.. But I am going abroad' people, but worse, they are label addicted. Even guys. In movies, in most movies, if guys are Label or Brand conscious, they are usually homosexuals. I don't know if media mirrors the society, but those guys looked shiny. Very weird. But, There is nothing wrong with women being BRAND CONSCIOUS. I have always supported branded ladies underwear.

Course there is the Anna-casino. Do not go in there if you love money!!

KFC and pizza hut, I heard that you don't have to stand on a line anymore but haven't gone there yet. I had KFC in Delhi, but I don't know if I had Dhoti chicken or Brazilian chicken. I was in great stomach pain, 2 chicken leg pieces and my Gastric juices overwhelmed me. Had to take medicine then. But I am ready to try again.
No Comments on Nanglo... or hot breads though.

But for people who have Durbar Marg- as a frequent hangout area, my kind of place would be pretty cheap... it may be compared to a Bhatti. I dont care.


Green Curtains:


It does not have to be a real Hareeyo Parda.... with white, red, green, blue alcohol. But it has some requirements to fullfill. It has to serve a large number of Traditional Newari Dishes, chhoyala, sapu micha, Bara.
Everyone knows HONACHA behind Krishna Mandir, or Everest MOMO in Naxal.

What?? I grew up around those places.

I went to KU after grade 10, so, haven't grown up in Kathmandu to really relax in expensive areas. And besides, Green Curtains are the real cultural thing.

And I guess if the experiment on Federal States work, then we might get to see more Tamang, Gurung, Magar, Maithali, Bhojpuri versions of the Green Curtains. That would be great. If everyone doesn't kill each-other first.

But Kathmandu is Truly represented... for me, by Newroad.

Newroad:

Everyone goes to newroad at least once a month I guess. Or Once a year for sure. I go to mahabouddha, or soda pasal, or Chatamari Chee.... a lot of green curtains in those areas... or I would be there just to see the wonderful... weird... sad... and beautiful faces in Kathmandu. You don't know anyone there... and everyone seems to go somewhere... and you have no time to concentrate on one passerby...

I mean.. you feel like you know so many people... in real life.. because of college, or school, or Dashain... or facebook even.. but go to Newroad.. and then you will feel humble and say something like ... you know very few people...

Saturdays, I guess at about 10-11 am, below the RNAC building, you get an orchestra of Sarangies. ...Yeah sure you might have heard a lone sarangi player in a bus... once or twice... but think about 4 to 5 players sitting on the bench and singing and playing is a completely different experience. Even if you are not into the music. It would be like a smaller version of Kutumba. Its fun to listen to if you are not in a hurry. Don't blame me if they are not there every Saturday though.

Then Enter Newroad. To the left Gudpak, to the right, Mahaboudda- the mountain of Movies. Move Ahead....Jewellery shops, to the right.... ex momo king, not so expensive resturants... Left Khichapokhari... to the left... sheesha hooka... to the Right Ranjana Galli Soda Pasals.... The Peepal Tree Newspaper and Magazine stall, BHUGOL PARK and Juddha Samsher's statue...

I was born in BhatBhateni, (its actually a TOLE whichwas named after a temple. The supermarket came later.) And I love Kathmandu, and Newroad is the one of the strong reason.

I dont know how to end this.. so i thought of ending with New Road's history.

1990 BS... the whole Kathmandu was destroyed by the greatest earthquake ever to strike. Everything was destroyed. So Juddha Sumsher whose statue stands firm in Newroad... planned this road. This HUGE road... which starts from the gate to the Durbar Square... was to mark the Beginning of a New age. High Rise Buildings were adjacent to the roads to mark a DOWNTOWN... Kathmandu was fated to change.


Bhugol Park... which still exists today, and I guess most of you don't notice it to be right opposite Bishal Bazaar or right below the revolving restaurant... was actually the place to gather if there was another one of those earthquakes. If you walk past Juddha Samsher's statue.. towards Basantapur Durbar Square, to your left, along the line where they sell Flags, Maps, Buttons... in the footpath, inside the building's channel gate, ... you can still see a very old... beaten... battered... FIRE-ENGINE.

Paper Boat

Complete_Stranger: Did you lose someone close to you?

Loner: Yeah. My Granmaw.

Complete_Stranger: I'm Sorry.

Loner: Don't worry about it.
She was quite old, and diseased.

Complete_Stranger: What Disease?

Loner: Brain damage, and a Very bad liver cirrhosis. She was a heavy alcoholic for three decades. She started in her late twenties, but she quit very late, in her fifties.

Complete_Stranger: She Quit drinking? What made her do that?

Loner: I think, It was a someone she met in a cruise ship.

Complete_Stranger: :-)

Loner: A Woman.
A French Woman. She used to tell me about their conversations. She always called it her destiny to meet Nicole.
You know, they went to the same University when Granny was a student in London, in her teens. and, they even lived on the same street. But they never met until the cruise ship.

Complete_Stranger: Wow, Small world huh!

Loner: Yeah. and, they shared so many things in common, Both married very young at 23, and were in their late twenties when they lost their husbands, grandpa died, Nicole's divorced her.. and both never got remarried.

Complete_Stranger: ah, your grandmother lost her husband quite young.

Loner: I guess, that's why she started drinking. And then my parents died in a plane-crash, when I was six months old.

.....................LIGHTS OUT..............................

The computer fan took a few seconds to stop, then it was completely silent. She took a deep breath, and thought about lighting the bedside candle.

She lit the candle and saw her grandmother's picture. In The picture a grey haired woman was holding a paper boat, and behind her was vast water. And she was smiling. As Though, she was in love for the first time. "The only time", she thought.

It was a picture Nicole took, and the only picture her Granny had framed in her life. Granny had never framed her parents' pictures, her parents' hated Granny for being an alcoholic. But she loved her because Granny was just a sad woman. And everything changed after the cruise.

She placed the picture back on the shelf, and looked at the time in her cell phone.

It was 4:15 in the morning already."Shit!!!" was her reaction.

She had wasted her time.

"Complete_Stranger" was a stranger to her. She didn't know the person's age, or even if the person was male or female. nothing. She didn't want to know.Conversations she thought, are REAL if they are among strangers. There would be no emotions involved, no obligations, no attachments no embarassments. The purest form of conversation.

She goes to her cell phone MENU>APPLICATIONS>ALARMS. And stares at it- 12 P.M. She smiles at her stupidity.

"12 AM idiot, 12 AM" she says when she changes her alarm to 8:30 am.

She then checks her INBOX and CALL REGISTER. There were no messages, no missed calls, nothing.

No-one cares.

She places her cell phone beside her bed, puts her head on the pillow, covers herself with the blanket and says, "Happy Birthday Loner, You are 29, and all Alone in this world".
.................................................................................................

She would be late for work. But She didn't care. This was her day. After her bath, and her ritual infront of the mirror, she opened her birthday gift she bought for herself, "Christian Loubatins". Even though she found it on sale, it cost her a fortune. and Even though it was a bit tight for her, she bought it. She would wear it on special occasions only. It was sparkling red, and 3 inches. She owned it.

She took a taxi to her office today. She needed to feel like a queen, or at least a lady, just for this day. And she had no one to do this for her. When the taxi stopped, she acted as though the door was stuck, and politely asked the taxi driver to open the gate from outside. He did. She thanked him with a nice smile.

She had a bit of trouble walking with those tight shoes. When she reached her office she would open them and let her feet breathe.

She opened her shoes, hid it, and put on something comfortable and went for the the formalities in her office.

She first reports to her seniors, to let them know she is there, she makes passive small talks, then she moves to her desk along with people her age.

Her peers, every woman peer in there had the usual loud, showy, over-exposed way of greeting each other. Everyone was performing with the fake smiles, and fake hugs. Everyday!

She was close to these people, But She never shared with anyone there. Once, she made the mistake of saying her Grandmother was sick and in a hospital, the conversation carried from her grandmother to old torturing women to old men farting to motorcycles to lipsticks. That was the last time she really opened up with them.

"This is work, only work." She tells herself everyday.

The men were worse. She could always notice the men ogling at her breasts first before saying hello.

The seniors were too professional. They only cared about how much money you are making them. That was her only motivation to stay in that place.
....................................................................................

"Hey... Lunch?" one of her male peers asked her.

She didn't want to go out. Not with him, and not with those tight shoes.

"I'm fasting today. Tuesday"

She planned to have a party at night for herself.

When everyone went out for lunch, she went to the terrace, lit a cigarette and released a tail of smoke. This was her first one today. And she always loved the first smoke.

She never thought about her everyday life when she was smoking. She believed that the cigarette would make her mind wander away from this empty-lonely life.

She sat down on cement fence of the terrace.

She had started smoking after a very nasty breakup with her third boyfriend. All men she knew were chauvinists, sexists... everyone wanted to prove their manhood, and always say "women don't do this, and women don't do that", or "you could do this, this would suit you better". Like they knew what they were talking about.

She had no strength left in her to try again and again and again for some fairy tale, Cinderella ending to her life. She was turning 30.

Sometimes, she would take home a bottle of wine, and finish the whole bottle watching Animals on Discovery or National Geographic. It came to her a while after She lit another cigarette with red ashes first one She was turning into her granny.

Her Granny was the world to her, but she was an alcoholic to the world.

She smoked the last tail of smoke, and looked as the cigarette bud fell 5 floors below. "Life could end so easily if you give up."
...........................................................

Quitting time.

She waited till everyone else left the office. She couldn't wear the shoes in front of her peers. She wore the shoes for herself, she didn't wear it to show off to the brand vultures. She planned to go to Newroad for her birthday treat.

She dropped off at Sundhara. She walked till Kichapokhari. There were very less people in the street, and all the shops were closing.

She then heard loud noises coming from Sundhara. Another "Protest" she thought. She walked northwards, to new-road. Everything was shut. People were hurrying towards somewhere, like a huge storm was about to hit. She had never seen New-Road so empty. There were always people here.

She tried walking quickly towards the gate, but her shoes were tight, and her heels were three inches. Still, she tried walking fast.

Everything happened so suddenly. She didn't know what came first, A huge rolling, Burning Rubber Tire, OR The sound of whistles- artificial traffic whistles, man made whistles and cries of loud noises, OR that faint smell of very rotten egg, or worse, rotten garbage.

"Tear Gas", she knew this smell before. She walked faster, almost in a running speed. with the 3 inches, the shoe seemed to be crushing her fingers. She reached New Road gate, turned left, and saw a bus.

She so wanted to get on this bus. The bus was the only one, and looked like a school bus and some passengers were trying to get in. She wanted to get in the bus.

The bus was beside the new building of Bir Hospital, and she was running opposite the Kal Bhairav Temple.

She walked faster now. Faster. Faster. The bus was trying to move. And there. right there. She saw herself sitting on line to get on that bus.

She was still running from Kal Bhairav Temple to catch the bus.

She was not under the effect of the tear gas. She knows the effects of a tear gas. and this was not it. There are no hallucinations from tear gas. Now this time she saw herself getting on that bus. But it was not her. The coat the woman was wearing was not her's.

She was a different woman, but she looked exactly, in every shape and form, like herself. She had the same face as hers, the same hairstyle as hers... her clothes were different, but she had the same worried look in the face, the same body structure... she must have been 29 too... she wanted to know for sure.... she wanted to know who it was.

So, she opened her Christian Loubatins, and ran. Barefoot in the footpaths. Ran to know the person who got on the bus. Ran to know who the person was.

However, the bus was already jam packed and in motion. She reached the door of the bus, and she cannot get in. The driver will not stop because he is afraid the mob would devour his transport. The bus slowly was gaining acceleration.

She couldn't get in, she was sure of it. So she changed her tactics... She tried looking through the windows, trying to get her to possibly get down from the bus. She didn't find her in the sides, the bus was already picking speed.

At the back however, someone was tapping in the back window. It was her, the woman, the lady who looked exactly as herself... their eyes met.

The lady in the bus smiled, and she replied her smile. The bus started moving away. She was still running barefoot, and smiling with her red shoes in her hand.

Then the lady from the bus broke her gaze, and took out her cell phone, and pointed the camera towards the barefoot lookalike. The barefoot woman was still running, still holding the red shoes in her hands... and still smiling. And she took her picture.

The Bus went away.
The woman stopped running.
..............................................

She was home. She was looking at her mirror. She had not changed. She had spent an hour thinking about the woman in the bus. And then her eyes fell on her grandmother's picture. Her grandmother holding a paper boat.

"She took my picture" she thought. And she was holding her red shoes. She gifted herself those red shoes for this special day.

Maybe right now, the lady from the bus was looking at the picture from her cell phone. What would she ask her?

She looks into the mirror, she says,"Are you Married?? Do you have a boyfriend? Of course you do, You're so pretty... ha ha ha ha".

She asks again, "You know, today is my birthday... were we like separated when we were children? ha ha ha, but I don't know, that's not possible, only happens in Hindi Movies. Not Possible No???"

NO answer.

She then stops asking her questions, but telling her some things "You know, my Grandmother, went on a cruise once. She met a lover there. Nicole. And they promised never to contact each other ever, because, that sort of love could not exist then, so my grandmother made Nicole take a picture of her, with a paper boat... and today, you took a picture of me with my shoes... Do you know what I am talking about?"

No answer.- The mirror only shows her what she sees.

But she was smiling. She was somehow happy.

"You know, I used to feel like, I am all alone in this world. But you are there somewhere. Living as my self. It was my destiny to meet you. As... you and I have the same hairstyle, the same face, and same everything... I am not alone in this world... I am not... My decisions, my actions, affect others... you know... Yeah... I made you take my picture Didn't I???"

She was smiling. As though She was in Love for the first time. The only time.
................................................................................................

Tribute to Krzysztof Kieslowski,"La Double Vie De Veronique" (The Double Life of Veronique)

Confessions from KU: About Love (2006)

Confessions from Kathmandu University. About Love 2006

सन्दर्भ 4 वर्ष अगाडीको हो। २००६ तिर को। म, हामी, Media Studies को first Batch हरू 2nd Semester मा थियौँ। पहिले सत्र मा आफ्नै कक्षाका सहपाटीहरू र अरू School (विषय) पर्ढ्ने, जस्तै, School of Science, School of Engineering, काहरूलाई चिन्दा चिन्दै बित्यो। तर Media बाट थोरै मात्र घुलमिल हुन्थे त्यो बेला, अरूहरू सँग। कक्षाका धेरैको Routine, KU आउ, घर जाउ हुन्थ्यो।

घुल्मिलहुनेहरू लाई धेरैले चिन्थिए। KU वरीपरि बस्ने भएकोले होला। Kishor (GK) ra Bijen (राम्री) Hostel बस्थे, अनि, क्षितिज पेप्सी बस्थ्यो, म २८ किलो बस्थेँ, दिपक कहिले बनेपा कहिले २८....

कक्षाका सबैजना अरू Faculty सँग घुल्मिल पनि हुन्छन्,अलिकति Media Studies Goodwill पनि, अनि, Media Studies Group, हाम्रो Club को Activity पनि अनि, Charity पनि को लागि केही काम गरौँ , नयाँ काम गरौँ जस्तो लाग्यो। त्यही हो, 1st Year को जोश।

Film Festival गरौँ भनेर लाग्यौँ। किनभने, Isc मा नि गरिसकेका थियौँ, Isc मै २ वटा Film, 2 वटा Documentary, बकैदा Charity Event को लागि Makers, Distributors (फिलिमको लागि Jai Nepal) सँग KU मा गर्न पाउँ भनेर Permission लिएरै काम गरेका थियौँ। सार्है झन्झटिलो काम थियो, १ दिनको लाई मात्र गरेका थियौँ त्यो बेला। २ वटा Documentary- भेडाको ऊन जस्तो, र ईतिहास जित्नेहरुका लागि र, 2 वटा Films- School of Rock, र The Incredibles।

Media Studiesमा, Isc को Deepak, र म थियौँ।

यो पालि गर्दा खेरी, HBO, Cinemax, StarMovies, Cinema Hall, मा देखाउने फिलिम भन्दा पनि, Film Festival मा जाने खाले फिलिमहरू देखाऔँ, Media को Brand, एउटा छुट्टै Class मा बस्नु पर्छ भनेर लागियो।

त्यही सन्दर्भमा, हामीले, Russian Culture Center मा, "Anton Chekhov's About Love" भन्ने फिलिम हेरेको थियौँ ....आधी मात्र है तर। त्यो नि देखाम् जस्तो लाग्यो। किनभने, +2, Isc मा, English किताबमा About Love भन्ने छ। KU को Isc. मा थिएन है फेरी। पछि त्यो Story पढ्दा खेरी, Movie र Story मा थोरैमात्र तालमेल देखियो।

जे होस्। रुसी साँस्कृतिक केन्द्र, (Russian Culture Centre) बाट, Permission लिएर त्यो Movie ल्यायौँ।

अरू Movie, Documentary हरू पनि ल्याएका थियौँ। जस्तै, भेडाको ऊन जस्तो, स: कर्णाली, ईत्यादिको लागि अनेक Permission Slipहरुमा Signature गरी गरी ल्याएका थियौँ।
Hotel Rwanda, Motorcycle Diaries भने, बिना permission; तर Studio लाई एउटा Email पठाऔँ ।

अरूको छुट्टै कथाहरू छन्। यो कथा चाहीँ About Love को हो।

रुसी सांस्कृतिक केन्द्रमा हामीले About Love आधी भन्दा अलिकति बढीमात्र हेरेका थियौ। Russian Film, Subtitle सहित, रमाईलो नै थियो। त्यो फिलिम घर ल्याएर फेरी हेर्यौँ।

घरमा हेर्दा खेरी, About Love मा Last Last तिर, Physical Love पो रहेछ। सभ्य नेपालीमा भन्दा त्यो फिलिममा अश्लील,कुन्ठित दृश्य रहेछ। केटा केटी नाङ्गै हुन्छन्। केटीको स्तन मात्र देखाउने नाङ्गो होईन, पूरै नाङ्गो, माथि देखि तल सम्म। केटा पनि उही हो। फेरी नाङ्गो मात्र हुन्छन् है, अरू केही पनि हुन्न। तर आपत नै हो।

के गर्ने? त्यो Movie नै Cancel गर्ने? त्यो गर्न मिल्दैन थियो, सबैभन्दा धेरै Audience About Love ले नै ल्याउँथ्यो, किनकी, त्यस्को लागि Publicity कम चाहिन्थ्यो।

एक छिन काटेर देखाउने? जस्तो लाको थियो, झन्झट जस्तो भो। केही उपाय निस्किन्छ कि भनेर फेरी हेर्यौ, फेरी हेर्दा खेरी Normal लाग्यो। यति सम्म चल्छ जस्तो नि लाग्यो। अनि एक छिन पछि, बाल हो, यो भन्दा कति खत्तम हेरेका हुन्छन मान्छेहरूले भन्ने निस्कर्ष निस्कियो। तर एक चोटी हाम्रो Department Head लाई सोधुम्, Controversial कुराहो, Permission लिनु पर्छ।

हाम्रो Languages and Mass Communications को Head Of Department, जङ्गब चौहानलाई सोध्न गयौँ, दिपक बोल्यो, म साथ मात्र गाको। सर लाई "सर, filmमा अलिकति अश्लिल द्रश्यहरू छन्" भन्दा सरले के छ र भन्नु भो। दिपकले त्यो बेला भनेको अहिले पनि सम्झनामा छ- "केटी निबस्त्र हुन्छे"। निबस्त्र रे... म हाँसो रोकीराको थिँए... तर अन्तिममा, सरको remarks हरू positive नै थियो। Bachelor तहका विद्दार्थीलाई पच्छ भन्ने भयो, र Go Ahead, पाईयो।
.....................................

Marketing phase:

Poster बनायौँ, Anton Chekhov's About Love भनेर, तर, यो Film को Marketing, Poster ले भन्दा नि चियापसलमा, बाटोमा भेटेको बेला दिईएको "आउ है" ले बढी काम गर्थ्यो।

Marketing फरक Group लाई फरक किसिमको गरिन्छ। तर Product एउटै हुन्छ। हाम्रो अगाडी, केटा र केटी गरी, २ वटा Consumer Group हरू थिए। Product= About Love. Meaning Distort हुनु हुन्न, र Goal- Clear हुनु पर्छ।

हाम्रो Motive or Goal भनेको, Hall मा, धेरैलाई फिलिम देखाउनु थियो। Charityको लागि पैसा जम्मा गर्नु थियो।

यसरी गरियो:

KU का केटीहरूलाई "Anton Chekhov को, +2 मा पढ्नु पर्थ्यो नि, हो त्यही, Anton Chekhov's About Love" भन्दै बोलायौँ। उनिहरूलाई त्यति भने पुग्थियो। हाम्रो बुझाई अनुसार, पढेको कुरा हो, र फेरी Love Story भन्यो भने, केटीहरू उस्सै नि आउँथे।


केटाहरूलाई Love Story भन्यो भने कमै आउँथे, त्यसैले, Anton Chekhov भन्नै परेन, "केटाहो, About Love,Film, खतरा Scene छ, हेर्न आऊ है" भन्यौँ।

Natural हो। हाम्रो गोल Clear थियो, Motive अनुसार काम गर्यौँ।

केटीहरूलाई ढाँटेको पनि हैन, पूरै सत्य नभनेको, Film को नाम त त्यही थियो नि।
जसरी बोलाएपनि फिलिम राम्रो भए पुगेन र???

फिलिम वास्तवमा राम्रो थियो, सबैले हेरुन् भन्ने भयो।
.......................................................................................................

शोको दिन, Hall Pack थियो। Computer Block को Auditorium मा गरेका थियौँ। Student हरू पलेटी- कसेर फिलिम हेर्न बसिराको थिए।

म चाहीँ, सबैलाई देख्ने ठाऊँमा... Reaction हेर्न रमाईलो होला जस्तो लाको थियो।

आँटेको त हो नि, KU जस्तो ठाऊँमा, public मा, ल हेर निबस्त्रता... Charity को लागि भन्न सकेको, KU कै ईतिहासमा पहिलो चोटी होला। नभएनि, मेरो ६ वर्षको KU मा पहिलो चोटी नै हो ।

Anyway, Scene आयो.....
यस्तो छ- older केटी, younger केटा, दुबै Nude, अनि त्या भको Conversation ले Sex Scene कहिले नहेरेको मान्छेलाई अलिक आछु आछु नै बनाऊँछ। त्यस्तो कोही कोही मात्र हुन्छ... भन्ने मेरो बुझाई थियो। तर त्यहाँ भाको केटीहरूले मेरो बुझाई गलत बनाए।

केटीहरूले मात्र Reaction देखाए... बिचरा, कत्तिले नखरा भन्लान, कत्तिलाई चाच्चिकै अफ्ट्यारो भाको थियो होला... मलाई त Reaction हेर्न रमाइलो लाको थियो।

Scene आउन साथ- कोही केटीहरू मुख छोप्छन्, कोही, आँखा मात्र छोप्छन, कोही, आँखा छोपेको जस्तो गरेर औँलाको बीचबाट प्वाल बनाएर हेर्छन। तर कोही केटीहरू अटल, No Flinching, No reaction Whatsoeverपाराले बसिराको थिए, मुख छोप्नेहरूले तिनिहरूलाई सोध्थे, "सकियो" भनेर।

कोही केटाहरू लजाएका थिए Public मा porn हेरियो भनेर होला, कोही मख्ख थिए, तर धेरै केटाहरूले Naturally लिए... जुन चहीँ सोचेको जस्तै भाको थियो।

बसमा जानुपर्ने बाहेक, कोही छिटो निस्केनन्। र कोसैले पनि, "यो भएन, बन्द गर" भनेनन्।
पुरै कथा सकियो, कत्तिले "Good Job" पनि दिए। हामी हास्यौँ।
.......................................................................................

Objectively हेर्दा खेरी, हिन्दी Cinema को १० हजार वटा कम्मरको vulgar thrust हेर्न हुने रे, अनि, त्यही कुराको रसियन Alternative हेर्न नहुने??? खै...

केही, सम्झनाहरू नियाल्दा खेरी, यो पनि कैद रहेछ। Confessions भनेर राखे पनि, I am quite proud of this memory. हा हा हा....

100 before you die.. BBC

The BBC believes most people will have only read 6 of the 100 books here. How do your reading habits stack up?


1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen

2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien

3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte

4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling

5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee

6 The Bible

7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte

8 1984 - George Orwell

9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman

10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens

11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcot t

12 Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy

13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller

14 Complete Works of Shakespeare

15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier

16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien

17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulk

18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger

19 The Time Traveller’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger

20 Middlemarch - George Eliot

21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell

22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald

23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens

24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy

25 The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams

26 Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh

27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky

28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck

29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll

30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame

31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy

32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens

33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis

34 Emma - Jane Austen

35 Persuasion - Jane Austen

36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis

37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini

38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres

39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden

40 Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne

41 Animal Farm - George Orwell

42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown

43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez

44 A Prayer for Owen Meany - John Irving

45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins

46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery

47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy

48 The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood

49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding

50 Atonement - Ian McEwan

51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel

52 Dune - Frank Herbert

53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons

54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen

55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth

56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon

57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens

58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley

59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon

60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez

61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck

62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov

63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt

64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold

65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas

66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac

67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy

68 Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding

69 Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie

70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville

71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens

72 Dracula - Bram Stoker

73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett

74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson

75 Ulysses - James Joyce

76 The Inferno - Dante

77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome

78 Germinal - Emile Zola

79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray

80 Possession - AS Byatt

81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens

82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell

83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker

84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro

85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert

86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry

87 Charlotte’s Web - EB White

88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom

89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton

91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad

92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery

93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks

94 Watership Down - Richard Adams

95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole

96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute

97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas

98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare

99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl

100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo

thre is no earnest hemingway?? old man and the sea??? UHHHHHHH....

SIN

It has to be well planned. Every detail looked onto. Everything must be perfect. The perfect sin. And the perfect place for it. The KITCHEN.

The Kitchen is the only part of the house which is cleaned Twice- Daily. Not top to bottom. But the Basics- the cooking area, the sink, they need to be clean.

It was because

She... was coming over for dinner.

In the past, he had called her over so many times. Every time she had an excuse. The first time he had invited her to his place, she said she had to do her laundry. That was six months ago.

Their relationship has developed quite a lot from then.

They work together. Seven months ago, when he asked her for tea, she had replied "colleagues are not allowed to date here". They did go for tea, and she paid for her cup, he paid for his. The conversations made them feel the jolt of "Love" at first sight.

They had indeed signed a contract which said they were not to date colleagues. The reason being that it reduced efficiency at work. This made their plight more interesting.

It started like any other love affair. Phone conversations. They would talk for hours on the phone. About everything. Life, culture, family, society, love, plans. They found so many things in common and so many uncommon yet fascinating elements in their lives.

By day, they were office goers, colleagues, strangers to the unknown eye, and by night secret admirer of each other. And after a few months the attraction developed into what both of them believed to be love.

In the office, They could only steal a look at each other in the meeting room, in the cafeteria. But whenever they were sure they were all alone, they would chance a kiss, or two. They had their usual spots in the office. The elevator, the car park, and once even in the men's room... when both of them were working late. But nothing went beyond kisses and hugs. They could not risk being caught violating office rules. For both of them, the Secrecy, fear, made the love affair more exciting.

Today she was coming over to his place. For the first time. And no one in the office knew about this. This thought had made him so excited that he sliced some meat off his forefinger while cutting carrots.

The knife was sharp. All his knives were sharp. And he had all kinds of knives. Knives, frying pans, cooking pots he had every specific kitchen gadget available in the market. And the collection of spices from normal cumin, fennel, chili, oregano, to very odd sounding Pimpinella anisum,
Foeniculum vulgare, Piper nigrum.... would make any housewife envy of this kitchen.

He is a good cook. That is his pride. His Passion. That is his love. He has a small library of cook books in his kitchen. French, Indian, Italian, Chinese, Newari, Thakali.... everything is there. Today he has something else in mind. Something unpublished. Something original. Something special. Because She was coming over. He lighted the stove and worked his magic... and let the stove on for a while.

And wine. The perfect red wine. "Cabernet Sauvignon" Year 1975. He never knew how or where to buy wines. This was a gift to him from his father who was the real wine lover.

The bell rang.

"Oh my god she is here." he thought. He went to the door, without taking off his kitchen apron which said, 'SALUTE CAPTAIN COOK'.

When he opened the door, he was flabbergasted. She was beautiful. She looked at him, smiled and said,"This is not really a formal event you know!!." Making a pun at his kitchen apron, She came in. And she gave him her coat which exposed her dress.

She was wearing a sleeveless, knee length, light blue gown. The slevelessness gave away her beautiful bosoms while the light blue-ness gave away her stunning figure.

"You umm... hah" He was lost for words. He tried to recollect himself. He wanted to hit himself on his head for acting so stupid with someone so close.

"You look great.. very prett..." She kissed him, covering his mouth, capturing his tongue before the word Pretty could escape from it. He kissed her back. They were lost in each other. They were not in the office, they didn't have to hurry. So, She had started to breathe very heavily now. He pulled back unlocking the kiss. "Wait..." he said, "The KITCHEN!!".

He literally ran towards the kitchen.

It took her a moment to come back to earth. She sat down. She looked around. Her breathing started coming back to normal. She was in the living room. There were pictures on the table. She looked at his parent's pictures, his dog's, she picked up his picture frame. "Wine?". She was startled.

"What?" he said. Shakes her head,"Nothing".

"Come on inside. We start with wine and cheese" he invites her into his kitchen.

She went inside and looked around in awe. It was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen. She prided herself to be a good cook. But when she looked around, saw the appliances, the spices, the cookbooks, she knew she would feel very inferior if she talked about food.

The wine was already poured... he gave her the bottle. 1975 the year. The wine was 10 years older than her. He said "drink up... The first glass is without cheese."

It tasted sweet. She had always thought old wines equals more alcohol equals worse taste, but this was different. She finished her glass. He poured her a second glass.

He gave her some cheese.
"Put this whole slice inside your mouth, chew everything, and then rinse the whole lot with the wine". She did as she was told, the cheese didn't taste so good at first, but the wonderful taste of the wine, made everything better.

He poured himself some wine before asking her.

She declined. "Are you trying to get me drunk?"

"No, I've Already Poisoned you" he said.

"Yeah. Someone like You would risk ruining this old wine? Why are you Drinking it then?" She asked.

"Not the wine honey." He took a sip of the wine. "The Cheese".

"Ha Ha Ha... Clever". She Laughed.

"Yeah, That's why I told you to put the whole thing in your mouth and chew.... The sedatives would take a lot of time to work if you had eaten the cheese in small proportions. And see.... the wine helps to rinse the sedative's bad taste off, in the end, you're just left with the good taste of the wine." He explained finishing his wine and pouring some more. "You sure you don't want any?"

"You win Captain Cook. You Poisoned me, please pour me some wine, and I am having the cheese". That was her attempt at being funny.

She knows he is kidding. She trusts him too much. She repeats the same action. She picks up the remaining cheese from the table, the whole lot, and put it inside her mouth- a whole mouth full with her cheeks ballooning out, chews it, takes in the bad taste, and the rinses her mouth with wine. And swallows everything. This time however, she starts feeling a bit tipsy,"Ooh.. I think the wine is getting to me" She says.

"Its the sedative honey. Not the wine." he says now turning his back to her and working in the kitchen.

"Ow.. Quit Kidding. Its getting really boring now". She changes her tone a bit.

He turns back to her, shaking a knife in his hand, and with a wicked smile, "Don't blame me afterwards".

Quiet. For a while.

Then She speaks.
"What are we having for dinner?"

"Its a surprise."

She loves his surprises. She remembers back when he purposed to her in the photocopy room with a set of diamond earrings. He had also said its a surprise then, and then according to him, the diamond earrings were the secret ingredients.

"What's the secret ingredient?" she asked.

He looks at her and says "YOU, my love".

Flattered. She smiles."No really. Come on... What are we having for dinner honey?".

"I am having you for dinner honey." She was feeling very different. She doesn't remember wine ever giving her such a different high. And for a moment she thought She was hearing things now. Or was in a very funny mood?

She tries to correct him, "You are having me OVER for dinner... honey. What.... " the effects of the wine are really getting to her. old wine. old wine. She closes her eyes and asks "What are we eating?"

"YOU......".
That was the last word she heard before she passed out.
.........................................................................................................................

It was well planned. Every detail was looked onto. Everything was perfect. The perfect sin. And the perfect place for it. The KITCHEN.
.......................................................................................................................

She opened her eyes. She was still in the kitchen. She tries to speak, she cannot. she looks around, her boyfriend, her love, was standing a few feet away, facing the stove.

He turns to see her awake.

"Hey, welcome back".
Her head feels heavy... she wants to hold her head.... She cannot move.

"Honey, you scared me for a while, you ate the whole cheese. I would have stopped you."

She was sitting on a chair. She tries to lift herself from the chair. She cannot. She cannot move. She doesn't feel anything holding her. She tries to speak. She cannot. She cannot speak, her lips are closed, she tries to let out sound from her throat, only an echo of inaudible sound.

"Let me Break some news to you... You cannot move, You cannot speak... You have been poisoned. NO no you wont die, Actually you are paralyzed... "

She can think, blink her eyes move her eyes, but cannot move nor speak.

"You made me wait 7 months for this... 7 months,and all we did was talk and talk and talk and talk... Ok I didn't mind the kissing, but honey... this is more fun. Both my love for Cooking, and you... are together." He turns to his stove.

He had poisoned her NO, He had drugged her. Whatever. She trusted him. She loved him. Now she couldn't move.

"7 months... you know, I can impregnate a girl and maybe have a premature baby by that time.. 7 months, I hate fetuses. I hate the way they smell. Even after washing them over and over and over.... Yuck... but I bet, you would taste great."

'I would taste great?' she blinked her eyes trying to communicate. She wanted to say so much. She wanted to ask why he was doing it. She loved him. He loved her.

"Honey, You see... cooking is not science, or art. Its Logic. Mixing the right kind of spices in right proportions and with the right food. Consider if you must, a goat.....What is the best part of a goat? no no no... not the head... you get great soup from the head, and ears should be burned in fire.. till the carbons turn black... not the belly... the fat doesn't really taste great... and yes, the limbs... not the feet area, the part where the feet ends... the arm muscles and the thigh muslces.. now they taste great..."

Tears rolled down her eyes. She remembers back to romance in office with him. 'Was it all a lie? The things he talked about. Everything was so real. So real.' She still couldn't move or talk.

"Logic also tells us that we should always know our food. I have an upper hand... I actually KNOW you.. You live, You breathe, You feel, And I know your wishes, your plans... I know you.... I knew you already in the first month though. We would have gotten this over with then if you didn't have to do your laundry. But chasing you was fun. The catch is marvelous... and so by knowing you, I know which part I should start with."

She was being eaten. Fear Grabbed her more now. More than the sadness of betrayal.

"You don't do much exercise, so your arms were not much of interest to me... your bosom... is just so... unrealitically big... frankly, I never thought they were real. Yeah.. but you always had the sexist of the thighs...."

She rolled her eyes to her thighs. Without Speaking, Without Moving.

Her transparent dress which she wore for him was torn in the thighs... and she could see blood red... and white... her thigh bone... She could she her femur- the bone that joins the pelvis to the knee... a whole chunk of meat was missing from her right leg.

He begins singing in the worst possible voice "Todaaaaay is a greaaaaat daaaaay... cuz..... boooooth my laaaave are weeeeeth me"....

Tears. Uncontrolled tears. And more tears. She did not feel any pain, she was completely paralyzed. They were just tears coming out of her.
.........................

Dedicated to "Hannibal the Cannibal"... The greatest villian cinema has seen so far.

Normal...

फेरी निद्रा लागेन

अब २-३ बज्छ, ट्वाल्ल पर्यो, बस्यो, यसो को को छन्... भनेर online हेर्यो, ती नै हुन्छन जैले...

जैले देखिरकाहरू।
काम नपाकाहरू।
काम भाको भए बिहान ९ बजे हाजिर गर्नु पर्ने हुन्थ्यो होला, अरू मान्छे सरह,
Normal मान्छे सरह...

Normal हुनु पनि काई हो।
स्वाद नै हुन्न क्या life मा। हरेक दिन उही routine... उही व्यस्तता।
अनि हरेक हप्ता शुक्रबारको पर्खाई
दारू खानलाई।

शुक्रबारको पर्टीमा नि जहिले त्यही group हुन्छ।
अनि त्यही कुरा... त्यहाँ नभाको मान्छेको...
त्यस्तोलाई "कुरा काट्ने" भन्छन् अलिक पाकाहरूले।।

नेपाली भनेपछि कुरा काट्ने भनेको रगतमै हुन्छ क्यार
दुनियाले चाहिँ केटीहरूले... मुख्यत: आईमाईहरूले धेरै कुरा काट्छन् भन्छन्!
होला।।
तर मैले देखेको, केटाहरूपनि उत्तिकै छन।


४-५ जना केटा केटा भेलाहुँदा... दारू खाँदा... गफको मात्रै Quantityको हिसाब गर्ने हो भने:

१. नम्बरमा केटीको... धेरैमा देखेको, कुरा काट्ने मै पारेको यसलाई पनि।

२.नम्बरमा ...बुढाहरूमा बेसी Politicsको गफ हुन्छ, अनि Teenagers मा कत्तिको झ्याप भईयो, या यो भन्दा नि अझै झ्याप कहिले भाको थियो, र त्याहाँ, त्यो बेला, के कस्तो ताल देखाईयो....

३. अरू मूड अनुसार हुन्छ.... गफ। Ideas, Plans, Sports, Movies, Philosophy,

त्यो Ageको मुड जे छ, त्यही अनुसार।

४. २-३ जना मात्र भाको बेला दु:ख बाँडिएला। यस्तो भयो भने रक्सी पिएको सार्थकभो मान्छु म चाहीँ।

तर यस्तो बेला उपदेश लिन हुन्न। किनकी, झ्याप सुरमा मन-लाग्दी बोलिन्छ।

४ नम्बरमा दु:ख बाड्नु भनेको, सुनाउनु मात्र हो। दारू खाको मान्छे सँग Therapy खोज्ने हैन।
बोल्न दिने हो, अनि अर्कै तर्फ मन डुलाउने।

.....दारूमा पुगेछ कुरो। हामी Routine जिन्दगीको कुरा गर्दै थियौँ।....

मान्छेको कस्तो हुन्छ भने...
मान्छेलाई रोग लागे पछि मत्रै ....हिँड- डुल गर्न पाए हुन्थ्यो,
घुम्न पाए हुन्थ्यो, date जान पाए हुन्थ्यो लाग्छ...
प्रतक्ष असर नपरे सम्म.... तँलाईँ यस्तो हुन्छ, अनि तँ मर्छस्, भन्ने नपरे सम्म केही ठूलो परिवर्तन आऊँदैन।

त्यही बटोमा सोच्ने हो भने,
जिन्दगी रमेर जिउँछु भन्छौँ तर... कतिसम्म? एकदिन मरिहालिन्छ, जस्तो लाग्छ...
एक दिन मरिहालिन्छ, मोज गरुम्, २ दिनको जिन्दगानी... भन्दा फेरी... "पाप लाग्ला है"!! भन्छन्
तर म फेरी, भगवानको पूजा- अर्चना नगरे पनि, स्वर्ग र नर्क चाहीँ मान्छु।


नर्क देखि साह्रै डर लाग्छ।
नर्कमा त पोल्छन् रे।
हामी तात् तातो तेलमा,फ्राई हुन्छौँ अरे, बेसनमा दलेर होला, स्वादको लाई
अनि यमराजका भूँडीवाल दानव पालेहरूका लागि... KFM हुन्छ होला, केन्टकी फ्राई मान्छे।
बकेट बकेट खाने होलान् है हाम्रो....

त्यतिमा मात्रमा पीडा सकिन्न नि।
त्यहाँ बाट, दानवको digestive systemको सयर,
अनि एकै थुप्रो,
आत्मा हो क्यार, अजर-अमर हुन्छ... (सन्चो हुन समय लाग्ला, तर सन्चो हुन्छ)
अनि एकै छिन निको हुन बिश्राम,नुवाई धुवाई,
अनि फेरी, त्यही Routine.


तर अब,
स्वर्ग चाहीँ रमाईलो सुनिन्छ।
ईन्द्रको Clubमा गयो,
Dance हेर्यो,
मुड चले अप्सराहरू सँग Flirt गर्दै बस्यो... छुट्टै रमाईलो।

तर काँ हामी जस्तालाई छिर्न देलान त ? सार्है सोझो हुनु पर्ने होला है, त्या entry पाउन।
बाहिर फेरी
दारू भन्न नहुने होला।
जाम न 'सोमरस' खान... भन्यो भने, "हुन्न पाप हो", भन्ने होला ।

म अनि, "किन हुन्न?? भगवानले त खान्छन" भन्थेँ।
स्वर्गको Logic पनि पृथ्वीको जस्तै हुँदो हो... "भगवानले त गाँजा नि खान्छन्।"

अनि फेरी Topic change गर्न त्यही कुरा,
"तिमीले ३ हजार वर्षको मानव सभ्यताको दर्शन अध्य्यन गर्यौ ?"

ढाट्न मिल्दैन फेरी,
"अलि अलि गरेँ"

त्यहाँ पनि यस्तो गर् उस्तो गर, यस्तो नगर, उस्तो नगर, भन्नेहरू भईहाल्छन् नि।
"लौन, अध्ययन पुगेन है, पुगेन, ३ हजार वर्षको मानव सभ्यता र ३ करोड वर्ष भगवान दर्शन सकाउनु बाँकी छ। पुगेन"

त्यस्तै हुन्छ जस्तो लागिराको छ मलाई।

एक चम्चा पानीमा दुबेर मर, तेरो केही scope देखिन मैले।

Everyday People (Story)

He is in a small cubicle separated from the world around him. He stared into his computer screen. Both his hands were on the keyboard. He could hear no one. He felt away from everyone yet he felt remotely together.

He had to write what he was doing in about 140 words or less. He begins typing. 'Sitting in my office cubicle... waiting for a promotion, and a window with a view'... "No No NO" He shakes his head. "This is too much information". He pressed backspace until nothing remained in the box except a blinking cursor.

People read what you put on this, he thought. Just then a status update read- 'My child spent 30 minutes in the toilet today'. This was from his ex-classmate from grade 10. She had married earlier than him, and had two children- a boy and a girl. He himself had a girl about 9 years old. She spends hours in the bathroom herself. But it wouldn't seem appropriate to mention her bowels and toilet habits in public.

Another of his school mates had recently changed her profile picture. It was tiny, so he clicked on it to view it in full size... and... "Whoa!" escaped his mouth. He checked the time. It was a very recent update.

"She must still be online" he thought. And she was.

He faced a common problem: How to begin a written conversation with someone you have never spoken to? not even way back in Grade School?

Without thinking, he typed "Hi" and pressed enter

She replied almost instantly 'Hi to yourself, long time no see'

He takes a bold step and types: 'Yeah, tell me about it, I never saw you here until your profile picture change'

He waited for her reply which seemed to take forever. 'She must be thinking' he thought. He also had her profile page open- Age 32, unmarried, and looks like a underwear model. In her profile picture, she had a yellow top- tight fitting- not exposing, but visible, a red skirt- long legs, and hair that supports a very provocative look.

A red blip with the letter 1 appeared on the bottom right of his computer screen, it was her.

'Do I look fat in that picture?' She asked.

This was not flirting. He is not betraying his wife. He wife looked at him from his picture frame on the table. The picture was taken in Pokhara on their 7th anniversary second honeymoon. She was smiling in the picture. His wife did not look angry.

'All I see are muscles- no fat there' He replied

This private moment was disturbed by his co-worker. "Hey! The company bus will come around in about half an hour. Get Ready, we're taking pictures outside."

Another red blip with the letter "2" appeared.

'Really?'
'You look good too, You used to wear glasses in school right?' She asked.

He then replied:
'Yeah- huh you remembered'
'I wanted to look like a hindi film hero, a nice guy :-)) '

She said:
'ha ha.. you looked Like a studious person'

He was enjoying this: 'Now... not like a nerd though right?'

She too showed she was enjoying this. 'No! you were not good in studies. Nerds are good in studies. I beat you in almost everything'

She remembers so much detail. And its been over 15- 16 years.

He was about to type, 'seems like yesterday doesn't it' but deleted everything.

Again a disturbance from his colleague. "Come on! You're Missing Office Group Pictures".

He had to say goodbye to his ex classmate. 'Hey, I have to go. Lets catch up sometime over coffee or lunch' he said Without any hope of reply from her.

She then replied, 'Sure, I would like that very much'

He smiled while he typed good bye. Sure he was married for ten years, but it was not like he was doing anything immoral. Actually he was happy for himself. " I Still got it... I still got the power." He was smiling as he went for the group pictures.

.........................................................

He was sure his pictures came out good. He was smiling all the time during first round of pictures, until the fifth round. Then, it started getting a little irritating.

Everyone had a camera there. And everyone was taking pictures. Click here and click there. And then they starting to make faces and pose in front of the camera.

He remembered the last outing from the office when everyone had a camera for a single purpose "TO UPLOAD PHOTOS" And they uploaded everything. Even the 'being drunk stupid' part. He always thought Nepalese who stay abroad were more liberal in terms of showing what they drink and smoke and syringe compared to people in Nepal. He hated to be proved wrong.

....What he felt most irritating was the album names they use 'A fun time with friends'. "How would they be having a nice time if they are busy photographing? Loners, Narcissists... Everyone of them", he thought.

After a series of camera parties, he had vowed never to go to another party for the rest of his office going life. But this one was important. One of his seniors was leaving, going abroad. Which meant a vacant post. He was due for a promotion. And everything was going good for him.
.................................................

The party was exactly like he thought it would be. People would start drinking, making smoke circles, talk about nothing, and then start clicking. Click here, click there, click click, click, click, click everywhere... He needed to breathe.

He took a huge gulp of his drink. And stayed there trying to hold a smile to everyone, to every camera pointed at or around himself. Conscious of everything. Never relaxed.

He didn't know why he was still in the party. His work here was done. He was there; He was sitting beside his leaving senior, his boss knows he is in the party, he was smiling to every camera, but it was getting unbearable.

No one really wants to listen to each other. And everyone is constantly talking, getting drunk and getting stupid. He wanted to get out.

A colleague sitting beside him tells him, "Hey.. Hey... Your Phone's been ringing for hours."

He reached to his jacket pocket. It was his wife.

He picked up his phone, listened for a while and said, "Stay there, Stay there... I am coming over right now, just stay there".

He then turned to the colleague sitting beside him, "I have to go, my daughter is sick". He then said his last farewell to the abroad going senior, and clarified his leave to his head boss.
...................................................

His wife had called him because their 9 year old daughter had fainted. On the way back home, he called his doctor friend who said he would come by the next day.

He reached the front door and rang the bell. His wife opened and said almost immediately, "She is sleeping. Do you know our daughter has been dieting?"

He was baffled. "Dieting? What? Why in the world... ?"

"She says she wants to be a model." Replied his wife.

"My God. Is this what its all about?" He replied in a matter of fact way.

His wife gave him a look saying 'Do you know something I don't?'

He begins explaining. "She was taking this quiz in this social networking site. 'What should be your ambition'... or something like that. The results are fashionable celebrity Ambitions like Astronaut, or Journalist, or Scientist, or a Politician."

"And her's came a model?" His wife always filled in the gaps in their conversation.

"Supermodel" he corrected her, "It is supposed to make us feel good about ourselves. People don't take these things seriously".

"She is a child. She grabs these sort of things. I have child locked the television so that she wouldn't be influenced by it... and..and...You said this site would be a nice learning experience for her."

"It is a nice learning experience, I didn't think about this.... I'll talk to her in the morning." He tried defending himself.

His wife takes a deep breath. "Did you have dinner?"

"Yeah.. "
.......................................................

Bedtime was early for his wife. He however was in the television room. He was thinking about everything. When he came to his senses, he realized he was watching a French channel.

He didn't follow the usual routine of TV and then internet. He didn't visit the social-networking site that night. It didn't feel awkward. He brushed his teeth and went straight to bed.

In the bed, he was thinking about child locking the internet. He had read somewhere that internet is the Twenty First Century addiction. He calculated his hours in the internet. All day in office, and back home over 8 hours. 'Every addiction had a price to pay' he thought, "Maybe I should lay off the site for a while"

He then tried sleeping. He thought about what he would tell his daughter, and if his boss will promote him or not. Then, his mind then wandered off to the unmarried 32 year old ex classmate. 'Wonder why she is unmarried?"

He was falling asleep but the visions of his daughter as a 32 year old unmarried model came to him haunting back. He opened his eyes. "Bloody Site!" he cursed and fell back to bed.