Monday, October 27, 2014


This guy is always online!
So is that girl.
I am not saying Hi.
That little fuck.
She ignored my last message.

Well, see if I give a Fuck!

Dashain Photos.
Tihar Photos.
Trek Photos.
Changed his profile picture, with his wife again.
No. That's his mother this time.
His Sister?
Can't tell.
Forgot what they looked like.
No more hot women in here.

Oooh, this one's cute.
Wonder who she is.
No... too young for me.
Oh my god.
But in school she was like...
You little clever filtering fuck!

10 reasons why your parenting skills are better than these.
Ebola is actually American politics for expensive health care.
New research, drinking marijuana-milk cures indigestion.
Interstellar is not good enough for Oscars?
My wife killed herself after her 50th continuous orgasm.

Hell the fuck no. 

Another 20 liner post. Just Like it. Don't have to read it. Move on.
And you.
You love glorifying the fuck out of yourself don't you? You self obsessed little prick.
One more like for you.
Comment "I am so proud of you"  (My Son)
This girl's always selling something.
And this guy is always talking about his film.
Something he made 2 years ago.

What else?
This is fake,

When will god Smite this pretentious fuck?
Why the fuck would you be so offended?
This is not about you,
This is not at all about you, You little bowl of old fart smelling, spit drinking, vomit sucking fucktard!!!

Stop pouting!
Bite your lower lips if you want to look sexy!!
GOD, please I beg you, please smite this Cynical Shit.
And, Why, in this little fucking world, would you try to break a smile if you are constipated.

HA! fucker's gained so much weight.
Do I look that old?
I am ok.
I think.
जय Sailnger! जय Caufield!!  

- AbhiManyu Dixit
11:11 am
Bhat Bhateni

[Author's note:
If this offends you, count 13 lines from the last line of the poem.]

Sunday, August 31, 2014

From My Phone, To My Phone.

I don't know how long you'll be with me.
But when I wake up, you're the first thing I see.
Thats true! Even before my morning pee.
Or my morning tea. But I like drinking coffee.

I remeber we've been through a lot.
We've watched game of thrones while smoking pot.
We've googled incognito with keywords like 'slut'.
And we've always caps locked for EQUALITY, BUCKETS, and maybe a samakhusi HUT.

My dear phone, we've seen so much.
Vodafone Zoo Zoo dolls, and that dog from hutch.
Played teen-patti online, but never with real money as such.
Polish film makers on youtube, and that interview in dutch.

Thank you. For being so nice.
Ah, flipkart! Thats where I got you for quite cheap a price.
I've never had to be sad about Katrina Kaif in slice.
Just realised I've never had to photocopy any of my MA notes! Jesus Christ!!!

You're so funny.
Why else would you take me places that required my name, credit card, and money?
Is it really that dangerous to mix ghee with honey?
And My god! You once told me my girlfriend is going to be a mommy!!!

Here's to us.
To facebook, instagram, youtube, and all those apps.
To sexting, nudes, and comode angry birds.
To googling menstural pains, to googling pimples filled with pus.
To life, and to the pain of seeing that fuckface get married to your crush!!!

No, I am not giving you away,
Neither am I destroying you today.
This was something nice, I wanted to say.
Thank You for being this way, and staying this way.
And to quote superman, Up-Up-And-Away!!!

Tuesday, June 17, 2014


Its changed
so much.
I just wanted to see if its active- my blog.

and it was. but its changed so much, everything.
It took me almost half an hour to actually get to New post
and start writing.
everything is so new, and young, and hip.
makes you feel like an old man.

why wouldn't everything be young? everyone sells to younger people nowadays
you can't even go "Wow, look at that girl in the bikini ads," because she might be under 18, and you might be a creepy, old, bearded pedophile.

Late 20s is old. Early 30s is young though.

I want to bet, like, with real money, that,
When I start my 30s, I will look younger, and be more full of energy than when I am 27.
I am 27. No doubt about that, October 1, 1986. Teaching hospital. Always maintained that.

I was offered to change my age, in Galaxy, when the teachers told us to fill this form.
Just numbers right?

But I didn't.
Freegin Righteous No?
Now, I am 27, no stable job, no car, living from my parents, and a whole lot of freegin education.
I could have been
26, no stable job, no car, lives with me parents, and a whole lot of freegin education.
or even better
25, no stable job, no car, lives with me parents, and a whole lot of freegin education.

this is going to be that post.
That post that everyone has read,
by mid 20s, all my friends are married, and post children pictures on their facebook,
and we have to like it.
If you don't you're evil. So evil.

and when they make their children wear their football jersey, and tag you,
because once, 4 years ago, you put all your money on that one team
that never got you anywhere.
they tag you.
you have to like it
and then comment.

Nah, I am not angry at any specific one of you.
Its just that i want to write, but I don't know what to talk about.

maybe I have too much in my mind, or maybe I just have fragments of things I want to talk about, I am not confused on what I want to do. I want to type.
Freegin type until my fingers start finging and find a life of their own.

Yea, I think its going on as planned. My fingers finging and I am finding longer paragraphs.
But its rule isin't it?
Like if you want to say something different to what you have been saying, you need to change paragraphs.
I just press enter.

Anyway, being back feels ok. Nothing good about it.
So, looking back at what internet and people were about 2 years ago, and today,
the only difference is Memes.

Lovely pictures coming up with 1 liners, 2 liners, comic style boxes, and what not...
wonderful way to tell someone somthing, and not feel like you are offending the person.
and its all got to do with this one thing
human beings, no matter how civilized they are, they cannot keep their shit to themselves.
Like, keep your opinion to yourself kind of shit.

I cuff, curse a lot.
just for the day, its the excitement of being back. But then, like any grumpy old man,
I curse the present younger lot.
to quote a poem I have not written yet:

"I.... I you little piece of crap,
 I started free thinking
I... I began glorifying myself
You were not even of legal drinking age when I
I... invented awesomeness
I... I am your voice that dreamed to be a rebel,
Because of me, You can complain, and whine."