Friday, November 5, 2010

Legalize Porn!!

Well.... I don't want to be establishing myself as this immoral or unethical character of the century by talking about this, and also, I don't think I am a victim of censorship here I believe no one is a victim unless you accept defeat. I am not accepting defeat. Never!

Well, I got my first taste of censorship when "Buds Film Fiesta" was censored by the film development board of Nepal.... Let me rewind a bit....
What happened was, we made this film called "LUST" which translates to "Wasana" in Nepali and "Hawas" in Hindi. All the three words have sexual connotation. Literally it means passion... immense passion... You'd have to watch the film to know why we kept LUST as the main title.

Anyway, We entered the film in Buds Film Fiesta: presented by Gopi Krishna Movies, (I am reading the flyer now); organized by "Creative Intranational Production Arts, Nepal" (CIPA); the television partner- Sagarmatha Television, Radio Partner- Radio Filmy. So, In the middle of the festival, Buds Film Fiesta was CENSORED, by Film Development Board. This happens only in Nepal, you see, no film festival in the world is censored.
Organizing a film festival means investment of a lot of funds, and people and time; everything seemed like it was going to waste, but CIPA and friends, made this possible by gathering established film makers and completing the Fiesta in Gurukul, School of Theater. There was Unity against the common enemy- CENSORSHIP, very similar to the February 2006 story.

Now here is the history from our perspective. When newspapers wrote about Buds Film Fiesta, Most newspapers had LUST's picture as the Artwork of the Film Festival's Coverage. Pictures of our female lead, Manisha Bista was in almost all newspapers. We were rejoicing. Why wouldn't we, our first film, and its getting all the publicity. But, almost immediately... we heard that the festival was cancelled. Complete shock!
Some of my friends pointed out that the people from the film development board must have read newspapers which had the words, VAASANA, LUST, HAWAS in them; and thus, they thought its a "sexy" film. So, they censored the whole festival. Made us feel bad.
Ok, maybe it happened that way... maybe not, but its not a far fetched idea. But come on people!! we planned to show the film in KU and we would have to be crazy to be including sex scenes of KU students to show it to KU students.
Anyway, it ended quite happily I guess... the film festival concluded... there was this huge event in Gurukul and everyone opposed censorship; and LUST won the best film of the festival. We're supposed to get a loads of prizes and other stuffs; haven't had that yet.

Case 2 Now,
Recently, Nepal Telecommunications Authority googled "sex", and blocked 60 sites which appeared as "Sex ful" to them. Along with some genuine porn sites were sexpistols.com and youtube.com, and all the subdomains of the blogspot.com... But later, someone told them of their stupidity and they reinstated blogspot.com where you are reading this piece... which is exercising its freedom of speech HA HA! (Nelson Style)

But the scenario could be worse. Pradeep Bashyal in his writeup in Kantipur quotes Anil Blogger of aakarpost.com saying that one day these people will block emails because they think that we are exchanging dangerous informations over it. Indu Nepal from Nepali Times has predicted that one day Newspapers will be censored because the newspaper editorials "threaten stability".

Where there is a will there is a way. See, They tried blocking facebook in China, I facebook chat with my good friends from China everyday. I guess China is a stronger in IT Nepal... and I am not saying Nepal is incapable. But Internet my friends can be taken over from a teenager- were you too young to remember the Y2K bug?? For now, lets just say, You can't really block porn-sites. You can use so many proxy sites. Which I am sure NTA knows about, and will try to block them in future.

Why Block Porn? The NTA says its because Porn excites young people and will lead to violence against women. Well, and have they done research to prove that? I dont know, Indu Nepal, says they haven't. And she also adds that sex crimes in Denmark has decreased since the legitimization of Porn in Denmark- back in 1969.

So, let's calculate for those of us who are weak in Mathematics:
1970-1980= 10 years
1980-1990= 10 years
1990-2000= 10 years
2000-2010= 10 years
10+10+10+10= 40 years...
40 years of legal porn films. Porn is censored in Nepal after 40 years of legal porn history of the world. Can porn be made into an industry? We will talk about this;

Does Porn excite people? Yes it does. Should Porn be controlled? Well yes. It should.
Young children should not be allowed to see porn.
However, Communication against porn should always be targeted to parents and/or guardians; let them have a free competitive advertising campaign in Prime time Nepal TV or Kantipur TV news saying "PARENTS CONTROL YOUR CHILDREN, THEY MIGHT BE PERVERTS FROM WATCHING TOO MUCH PORN".
But you don't control the adults. If adults are wise enough to think about which corrupt politician to vote for then, they are wise enough to follow the rules and live in a lawful state.
Now having read all that, please don't argue with something like "DUDE, PORN BRAINWASHES PEOPLE INTO HAVING SEX WITH EVERY THING THAT MOVES." I cant say anything to that.

Now, Can Porn be made into an Industry?

I was really devastated when NTA blocked every blogspot.com pages.. really angry. I wanted to start this campaign called "GOD SAVE THE QUEEN" because Sex Pistols website was also blocked.... and which would go on for about 2-3 phases.
You See, After a long discussion with friends, we concluded that this campaign should end with a grand "SOUTH ASIAN PORNOGRAPHY-FILM FESTIVAL" where porn film makers from India, Pakistan, Bangladesh, Nepal can come together, and talk about how much their lives has been affected. Talk about films, film form, film structures, contents in their films... And basically communicate, and share. You know, Deal pornography as an art.
Of course, the government has to legalize porn first, and create avenues to block children from viewing pornographic materials in that festival, and take stern actions against any film makers that uses minors in their films...
In the end, it became a beautiful GUFF...

But its still a dream... you know, imagine watching porn in one of those cinema halls with great sound effects something like Jai Nepal... wait... didn't Jai Nepal used to be a Porn Film showing film (B-Grade Hindi film, softcore porn) hall before Quest took over and changed it completely. And I know Ganesh Hall in Suryabinayak used to show porn. Also Paramhansh Hall of Kalaiya showed porn. Men came to the halls, shagged off, and walked out. Simple as that.

There has always been a culture of eve teasing in our society... even before porn you know, and its not because of porn that there are violent crimes against women, its because of the PATRIARCHAL SOCIETY... PITRI SATTA... You know, men in power?? YES!! There are examples where Women have taken a stance against eve teasing; and won. And there are women who oppose this confined society by following fashion that exposes more skin compared to 10 or 20 or lets say 40 years ago.....

And ALSO, We are as ugly a society as all those 1980s Hindi Films... that showed Red Light Areas of Mumbai...

You know we have red light areas in Kathmandu. I am not telling you where... But you get to read about them a lot in Newspapers, and investigative stories in Magazines and have seen them in documentaries.
Take for instance all those sex workers in Kathmandu. Well, there are sex workers in Kathmandu, and all those nude bar dancers.... you do agree on that right. How much do you think are they paid? Its not like if they are unhappy they can quit. Its an imperfect system. I know that. And shoving everything away into a corner has never served purpose. These problems will not go away unless you devise a system. Come on people, prostitution is the oldest profession of the world... If its legitimate, and legal, you can control more crimes. That's what I think anyway.

Its very similar to try to make marijuana illegal. Seriously!...........Yeah... too much bichars at once... sorry to overload you like that..... Ok. I should conclude now.

Before I conclude, Here is a list of porn sites provided via a press release by Nepal Telecommunications Authority.

Which I think was a great help from the NTA because Now Nepali people have more options to visit porn sites... i call it the NEPALI STYLE OF PROMOTING PORN in young people...


To watch them from Nepal,

1. Go to www.hidemyass.com

2. and enter the following websites which are given by Nepal Telecommunications Authority via a press release

www.worldsex.com
www.xxx.com
www.watersex.com
www.pinkworld.com
www.livesex.com/
www.sexetc.org
www.smartersex.org
www.sexaa.org
www.freesexvideos2k.com
www.sexandthecitymovie.com/dvd/
www.seditionaries.com
www.cthulhusex.com
www.sex-lexis.com
www.headphonesex.co.uk/
www.screentours.com/…/satc
www.madonna-online.ch/…sex/92-10-21_sex.htm
www.sex.comedy.com
www.nepalikanchi.byethost2.com/cs/news.php
www.tube8.com
nepalijpt.blogspot.com
nepalibhalus.blogspot.com/
xnepalimodel.blogspot.com/2010/07/xxx-valuable-npf-bhalu.html
www.naughtyamerica.com
www.redtube.com
3xnepali.blogspot.com
www.elephantlist.com/
www.sex.com/
www.fuckingfreemovies.com/
www.worldsex.com/
www.home-made-videos.com/
www.el-ladies.com/
www.yourvoyeurvideos.com/
www.freebigmovies.com/
www.puresexmovies.com
www.wifemovies.net/
www.swegold.com/
www.younger19.com/
www.ultradonkey.com/
www.so-so-young.com/
wap.phonerotica.com
www.playboy.com/
www.tblop.com/
sexlymen.com
funfunsex.com
ivanafukalot.com/
bigbigbreasts.com/
strangeland.com
scottss.com/
eroticjapan.com
www.realitykings.com/
anjali.uncovered.com
cfake.com/
assteenmouth.com/
videosn.com/
littleapril.com/
bestcelebvideos.com/





Saturday, August 21, 2010

1990s Kathmandu

This is almost a true story.

It was mid 90s in Kathmandu... right before the turn of the century. You know, the New Millenium. I think that was the best time period for Kathmandu. For a couple of reasons.

I am not going to romanticize Kathmandu just because I was born here and I grew up here.

Its a beautiful place for me.

What was good about Kathmandu, and my child-hood I think it would be more suited if I say "my teenage", I had just entered my teens, and I scored like 80 percent in my exams and father bought me a FM radio. What? It was a huge deal for me. I used to be a really bad student. Like really bad.So, 80 percent was something really great. Of course that was grade 6 in galaxy public school and they gave marks for homeworks, and classworks, and tidy text books, and everything else. My father really thought I had done good in class.

Anyway, I got the radio, and I used to listen to Hits FM. Even before grade 6 I used to listen to hits FM. Of course most of the VJs of Hits FM left, and I dont know which frequency they are running in right now. There are so many FMs today.

I think there were a few back then, just the right number. Come to think of it, Kathmandu was in its peak at 90s. Some of you might disagree, you might say that Kathmandu reached its peak when Cat Stevens and Bob Serger sang about it and when hippies came and discovered Marijuana thus boosting the tourist economy.

But I was not around in the 60s. So, for me, Kathmandu saw its peak at 90s. Why do I think so? Well, first, there were not many people in Kathmandu. Less cars, smaller roads, and cheap transportation. Cross the cheap transportation part out. Because, it might not be relevant; and it might sound stereotypical too. Anyone asks you what you remember about the past, you say"ah, we used to buy the whole house for Rs. 200 or so."... you know.

Anyway, There were not many people around, Kathmandu was not overpopulated, Kapan, Budanilkanta was peaceful, there was no maoists, all the news was boring and it came from Nepal TV.. but the people who presented it looked really professionals. Ever seen that "She's the BOMB" guy present news?? Its just so wrong. Just really really wrong.

And we used to listen to FM. Kantipur FM was ok, from the start. ANd then came Image FM... I bought Rappaz Union... "In da House"... I think... it was an album cover with paper. Later I realized Lattu Hip-hop was much better, "YEI HO MANAVTA KO NATA? HUH?"

You could really guess image and kantipur wanted to develop themselves into this huge corporate house from the start. If you read the signs... They played contemporary music, both English and Hindi, and all of you being mindless ZOmbies sang those songs. Yeah, remember Backstreet Boys, and Boyzone, and Britney Spears?? Yes, I sometimes sang them when I went to school. Later it was Eminem, Avril Lavigne... yeah.. we all had our share of rough childhood. And hindi songs. I am proud to say the first cassette I bought was "Dil Se"- the guy won an oscar like after 10 years of Dil Se. See I have good taste.

Anyway,

But Hits FM was different. It had a different Image to that of Kantipur and Image (hehe that rhymed). Hits FM was not contemporary. It was more classical and off mainstream than contemporary. I think it was Hits FM where I first heard Janis Joplin, Elvis, CCR, the whole 50s 60s, 70s, 80s, era. Which was not really norm for Kantipur and Image because they served the mass.

I have this theory you know, never think about serving. You can always GIVE the people what they want. But in doing that, you will always be making them dumber. What I think one as a human being should do is share.

Not preach. Never preach. Just try to assimilate and share.

Anyway, Kathmandu was a great place to be in at that time. I was a teenager and my hormone were realizing girls. I started noticing girls in grade 4-5. My friends in Elites co-ed had girlfriend in grade 3... "will you be my girlfriend??... Yes... come on lets hold hands and sing a song..." .... You think that's weird? Well girls in Nepali Villages get married at around age 13-14 and they are mothers by the age of 15.

I bet you (people who can read english) were still watching cartoon network and saying "PICKA-CHOOOO" at that age. So, next time you flinch to a villager and might think about calling them ignorant, think about how you would have coped if you had their life to live.

But you would have survived. We all adapt to our situations thats what makes us humans. For example, if Kathmandu is really dusty and dirty, we complain, and protest, and maybe show our frustrations by cleaning Bagmati, but at the end of the day, we all wear face-masks. Its not because of just swine flu though.

I wonder off all the time. I was talking about 90s Kathmandu. The golden era. The time when girls started wearing jeans pants. The time when eating out was slowly becoming a culture, MoMos had established itself into Kathmandu's tastebuds, Gairidhara Nan sekuwa Corner was establishing, Bhat-Bhateni Supermarket was to be the biggest building around. ANd girls. Girls... started wearing jeans pant. Before that they might have been in salwar, or maybe they were already wearing jeans and I only noticed them later. But they didn't have those shapy jeans that girls wear today. You know those tight ones which you cannot take your eyes off once you look at them... hehe... It was more masculine jeans. Wearing pants was not only fashion then, it was more of a statement, that girls and guys were equal. This is one of the reason I respect my school Principal- Geeta Rana. I think she had that influence in that decision... see, Girls wore skirts until grade 5 Some of my friends still remember the colors of some of the girl's panties from back then... I came in at grade 6; so you cant blame me at all.

From grade 6, Galaxy girls wore pants. And I think I started noticing other girls who wore pants. Of course in KU, girls wore skirts, its a different Story all together. I believe Pants a symbol of control.... You know, a symbol of masculinity... of Manhood. Men wore pants above their waits on their belly buttons to hide that bulge of a stomach. Girls (unmarried of course) too wore pants but they were below their belly button right on the weist. Because they did not have that bulge of a stomach they looked very classy. Girls had them altered and made most men stare at the perfect shape... which is actually an illusion created by the master tailor... anyway, pants symbolized masculinity... sort of an equal-ness and girls did it with flair and sophistication... guys later followed suit with choose pants... geeta rana called it drain pipe pants... they go great with converse shoes.... Nowadays, Married women wear pants around the house. I think I would call them the boarding school generation.

You see. After every political revolution, there is this huge wave of change in Nepal... i think It was after the 1990s revolution which brought Kathmandu into a more westernized ( of course India influenced westernized) world.The introduction of cable television, people looking to go out and explore... and I think It was after that era that Kathmandu had more schools like Little Angels, Galaxy Public School, GEMS, AVM, ... which had many girl students and you know a sort of a patriarchal society was being transformed into a society where people believed that girls should have a chance to have good education. Girls went to St. Mary's school instead of Mahendra vidhya... you know the white dress school beside sano gaucharan. There were very cute girls studing there back then. But parents were under the idea that private education with more money investing has a more secure base for the future.

And of course, Co-education.

Now, if you remember, we have established earlier... like 2-3 paragraphs back that Nepalis are horny from their teens, and combine that with the FM culture which thrived from dance parties, and discos and concerts, you know events which helped young people get together. Also, there was a lot of influence from Hindi Cinema. LOVE was being explored. Amir Khan Escapes runs away with Juhi Chawla to have a romantic song after college. It was established. Of course, some films like "Bobby" had established it for people of older generations and maybe Amir KHan and Juhi chawla films only strenghtened the feeling more... Anyway, So, it was a great time for Nepali teens to explore cultures.

I was never a part of those events... I hated discos. I went to a few video game arcades; and that was that. But more so, I went to concerts. But I never played an instrument. I wanted to. But you know, its one of those things you want and you have to work hard to get and you dont want it anymore because the work seemed tedious. But There were many guys who played instruments. Who were good at sports. I never played any sports. I never saw any point to it. Of course we played some cricket in Tudikhel. But its a different story.

Overall, I think it was a great era. It ought to be. I grew up in this era.


It was also the era of cordless phones.... and... Well... I heard this conversation once. I woke up real early like around 4 am to do my Samajik Sikchya homework. And, you know, i was tuning my radio.
ANd i heard this conversation....
since I am paraphrasing, I might not get it exact.
It was between a boy and a girl, so you can guess what kind of relationship they had.... well, its
Its in Nepali.... so, i hope you guys have fun eavesdropping....

.................................................................................................................


girl: bihana 4 baji sakyo hai 11 baje dekhin 4 baje samma 5 hours phone mah guff
boy : naya record hai. aajhai badaune ki yeashmai banda garne (keta lai nindra lagna thaleko 1 hour bhayesakeko thiyo)

girl : je gare pani huncha
boy : bichari timilai maile raat bhari uthaye hai.
girl : chyaa haina come on. jabardaasti uthayeko haina ni.. malai sutna mann bhayeko bhaye mah aginai saade 1 baje sutthiye (exact time when the girl wanted to sleep)
boy : laaaa. aaba suta hai. timilai rest chahincha ni.
girl : la timi pani suta.
boy: lah aaba phone rakha.
girl :nai timi rakha,
boy:haina rakha phone mah last samma sunne timro aawaz.
girl : haina timi rakha.
boy : hyaa rakhihala nah kehi hunna kiii.
girl : timi rakhna nah tah uso bhaye kehi nahune bhaye.
boy: haina mah narakhne re.
girl : ke mah pani rakhdina uso bhaye.
boy: rakha nah hyaa.... pheri bholi college janu parcha nindrai pugdaina timilai.
girl : je sukkai gara mah rakhdai rakhdina.
boy : lah lah sangai rakhne lah.
girl : lah lah
boy : 3 ganne ani sangai rakhne.
girl : ok suru gara count garna.
boy : nai timi suru gara.
girl: nai mah suru gardina timi gara suru.
boy : lah lah sangai garne hai
boy: 1
girl:1
boy:2
girl:2
boy:3
girl:3
boy: khai rakheko???
girl: timi pahila rakha nah.
boy : hera yesto taal le hundai hundaina. phone bill dherai aauncha.
girl : ho ni mero last month 3900 aayeko thiyo.
boy : mero tah 4500 aayo last month.
boy: kasto gali khaye bhane.
girl : mero tah internet chalayera huncha ani tessaile dehrai aayeko bhanera bhanchu.
boy: ayee
girl: aaaba rakha hai ekdum thakiyo.
boy: phone mah guff garda kheri pani thakincha ra?
girl:thankincha ni. pheri bholi college janu parcha.
boy: lah bholi bhetumla ni uso bhaye.
girl: aaba rakha nah lah
boy: lah timi rakha
girl: ha ha. jhagada nagara kya rakhihala.
boy : lah lah aaba rakhne laa...............

girl : timile saas phereko sunirachu maile.
boy: timi rakhe pachi mah rakhchu bhanera kurirako thiye.

girl: lah hai tah rakhnne lah.
boy: ok aaba serious hunu parcha.
girl: ok
boy: ok
girl : bye
boy: good night
girl: good night
boy : lah hai
girl: lah bye bye...
boy: bye bye.
girl : lah rakha aaba
boy : haina timi rakha
......................

Sunday, June 20, 2010

ए आम्मै!! आलु पाक्यो?

साँझको घण्टाघरको घण्टी,
घण्टीको आवाज छोप्ने, जमल र दरबार मार्ग बाट हुत्तिएर आउँदै गरेका
असङ्ख्य रातो प्लेटका मोटरसाइकल र गाडीहरू ,
बाटोको छेउमै प्यासेन्जर बोलाउँदै गरेका माईक्रोबस र टेम्पोहरू,
सिट छ भनेर सोध्दै गरेका हुल,
जाम छल्दै आकाशे पुलबाट नाक खुम्च्याउँदै हिँडने,
बसन्तपुर गई राम्रा-नराम्रा ठीटा-ठीटी हेर्ने हतार भएका पैदलयात्रीहरू....


तल पेटीमा,
घर गएर भात पकाउन अबेला भएका, छिट् छिटो पाईला चलाउने बटुवाहरू,
उनिहरूलाई डाक्ने व्यापारीहरू,
सबैलाई तह लगाउन ठूल् ठूला धोडा चढेका ट्राफिक पुलिसहरू,
ती सबैलाई टाढाबाट हेरिरहेको गणेशमान सिँहको सालिक।


बाटो पारी,
हरियो रूख, रातो बेन्च,
मानिसको हिँडाईले बनाएको धुलो,
मकै पोलेको काठले जम्मा गराएको धुँवा,
फोहोर-> बदाम बेरेको कागज, प्लास्टिक, झार, पात,र चुरोटको ठुटाहरूको,
रु. १०को एक माना बदाम र रु. ५ को एक खील्ली सूर्य चुरोट बेच्ने नाङ्ग्लो साहुनी,
चिप्लेटी खेलिरहेका बच्चाहरू,
ब्लु फिल्म किन्ने?? ब्लु फिल्म?? भनेर सोध्दै हिडेका घुम्ती सि.डी
पसलेहरू,

भुईँकटहर र काँक्रोमा नुन खुर्सानीहालेर मीठो बनाएर बेच्नेहरू...

केही हुल बटुल्न सकेको चटक देखाउनेहरू,
ग्यास्ट्रीक देखी ज्वरो निको गर्ने औषधीको प्रचारगर्नेहरू,
बाबाजीको बुटी बेच्नेहरू,
परमेशवर is everywhere भन्ने साधु खैरे,
र रूखमाथिबाट "गाउँकाहरू बाँदरका छोरा, सहरकाहरू कुकुरका" भन्दै
प्रवचन दिईरहेको मुकुन्दे।

कामबाट फुर्सद भएकाहरू,
बसपर्कबाट बीर-अस्पताल हिँडेकाहरू,
घर जान मन नगरेकाहरू,
केटी घुमाउनेहरू,
केटी खोज्नेहरू,

आशावादीहरू,
जिन्दगी देखि दिक्क मानेकाहरू,
जेनतेन २ छाक गुजारा गर्नेहरू,

धेरै थरिका मानिसहरूमाझ....
कुनामा दम दिनुपर्ने स्टोभ माथि
कालो तेल भएको कड्हाइमा आलु तार्दै गरेको
कपाल फुलेको आमालाई कसैले सोध्छ: ए आम्मै!! आलु पाक्यो?



A ode to MY CITY.

Kathmandu Kultures... Not racist....

How do we divide people into groups?
We take what's common in them and separate.
Simple. And of course then we study them. Culture- way of life... you cannot call the whole group "good" or "bad" though. Cannot hurt their feelings. Basic anthropology or sociology... people study.

Personally, I dont think people should be divided into groups. But that's how the world works right now. Black Skin, White Skin, Arabs, Hindu, Muslim, Jew, Communist, Congress, Liberal... You always belong into a group... and you bad mouth the groups you don't belong to... Everyone is a racist pig. I guess that's how Nepal would be working... separate state for Newars, or Magars, or Tamangs...

Nepal is too big for me to talk about. I wanted to talk about Kathmandu. I believe Kathmandu has a culture.

I know you studied in grade 9 "सामाजिक शिक्षा" that Kathmandu is a metropolitian. You studied that it was traditionally a Newar settlement, but then it became the capital of Nepal.

Well, people from all over the country come here, begin forging a dream of Building a home in the valley, and as we can see from the population NOW that most of them have made their dream a reality.

We have always been taught that there exists so many different nationals- casts and creed, there is no single Kathmandu Culture. But there is. Certainly among the Youths of this place. My primary argument is based on very specific feelings I get from different hangouts within the valley. My Analysis may be Subjective, Biased, Racist, or Downright Stupid. But Hell with it, I have freedom of speech!!!


Malls:

There is this huge surge of big looking buildings everywhere in Kathmandu. I don't think architects design 3 storey buildings anymore, especially if its a roadside plot. And most of these buildings are malls. UWTC, City Center, Kathmandu Mall, Bhatbhateni Supermarket. You will mostly find the stereotypical
'lets go to a mall because I speak ENGLISH with the "Huncha Ni Like..." Phrase and accent' people.And I am always Amazed by the number of turnouts in those places.

I have a theory. People in Kathmandu, have a LOT of MONEY. Yeah... Pulsar, Ambition, Unicorn, Karizma, Yamaha FZ, R15, all those bikes, commonly seen in Kathmandu... at an average, they cost 2 LAKHS easy. That's 5 zeros... notice the cars the next time you go out. Not the small ones, The big ones. Tuscon, Pajero... more than 20 Lakhs... a new green pajero costs 1.3 corores. 7 zeros. Just for Fun sake, go to Kumaripat or those underground parkings in malls or in Durbar Marg, and count.

Durbar Marg:

Last week, I went to Sherpa Mall for the first time. There were those
'English speaking Nepali Citizenship, never been outside Kathmandu.. But I am going abroad' people, but worse, they are label addicted. Even guys. In movies, in most movies, if guys are Label or Brand conscious, they are usually homosexuals. I don't know if media mirrors the society, but those guys looked shiny. Very weird. But, There is nothing wrong with women being BRAND CONSCIOUS. I have always supported branded ladies underwear.

Course there is the Anna-casino. Do not go in there if you love money!!

KFC and pizza hut, I heard that you don't have to stand on a line anymore but haven't gone there yet. I had KFC in Delhi, but I don't know if I had Dhoti chicken or Brazilian chicken. I was in great stomach pain, 2 chicken leg pieces and my Gastric juices overwhelmed me. Had to take medicine then. But I am ready to try again.
No Comments on Nanglo... or hot breads though.

But for people who have Durbar Marg- as a frequent hangout area, my kind of place would be pretty cheap... it may be compared to a Bhatti. I dont care.


Green Curtains:


It does not have to be a real Hareeyo Parda.... with white, red, green, blue alcohol. But it has some requirements to fullfill. It has to serve a large number of Traditional Newari Dishes, chhoyala, sapu micha, Bara.
Everyone knows HONACHA behind Krishna Mandir, or Everest MOMO in Naxal.

What?? I grew up around those places.

I went to KU after grade 10, so, haven't grown up in Kathmandu to really relax in expensive areas. And besides, Green Curtains are the real cultural thing.

And I guess if the experiment on Federal States work, then we might get to see more Tamang, Gurung, Magar, Maithali, Bhojpuri versions of the Green Curtains. That would be great. If everyone doesn't kill each-other first.

But Kathmandu is Truly represented... for me, by Newroad.

Newroad:

Everyone goes to newroad at least once a month I guess. Or Once a year for sure. I go to mahabouddha, or soda pasal, or Chatamari Chee.... a lot of green curtains in those areas... or I would be there just to see the wonderful... weird... sad... and beautiful faces in Kathmandu. You don't know anyone there... and everyone seems to go somewhere... and you have no time to concentrate on one passerby...

I mean.. you feel like you know so many people... in real life.. because of college, or school, or Dashain... or facebook even.. but go to Newroad.. and then you will feel humble and say something like ... you know very few people...

Saturdays, I guess at about 10-11 am, below the RNAC building, you get an orchestra of Sarangies. ...Yeah sure you might have heard a lone sarangi player in a bus... once or twice... but think about 4 to 5 players sitting on the bench and singing and playing is a completely different experience. Even if you are not into the music. It would be like a smaller version of Kutumba. Its fun to listen to if you are not in a hurry. Don't blame me if they are not there every Saturday though.

Then Enter Newroad. To the left Gudpak, to the right, Mahaboudda- the mountain of Movies. Move Ahead....Jewellery shops, to the right.... ex momo king, not so expensive resturants... Left Khichapokhari... to the left... sheesha hooka... to the Right Ranjana Galli Soda Pasals.... The Peepal Tree Newspaper and Magazine stall, BHUGOL PARK and Juddha Samsher's statue...

I was born in BhatBhateni, (its actually a TOLE whichwas named after a temple. The supermarket came later.) And I love Kathmandu, and Newroad is the one of the strong reason.

I dont know how to end this.. so i thought of ending with New Road's history.

1990 BS... the whole Kathmandu was destroyed by the greatest earthquake ever to strike. Everything was destroyed. So Juddha Sumsher whose statue stands firm in Newroad... planned this road. This HUGE road... which starts from the gate to the Durbar Square... was to mark the Beginning of a New age. High Rise Buildings were adjacent to the roads to mark a DOWNTOWN... Kathmandu was fated to change.


Bhugol Park... which still exists today, and I guess most of you don't notice it to be right opposite Bishal Bazaar or right below the revolving restaurant... was actually the place to gather if there was another one of those earthquakes. If you walk past Juddha Samsher's statue.. towards Basantapur Durbar Square, to your left, along the line where they sell Flags, Maps, Buttons... in the footpath, inside the building's channel gate, ... you can still see a very old... beaten... battered... FIRE-ENGINE.

Sunday, February 28, 2010

Paper Boat

Complete_Stranger: Did you lose someone close to you?

Loner: Yeah. My Granmaw.

Complete_Stranger: I'm Sorry.

Loner: Don't worry about it.
She was quite old, and diseased.

Complete_Stranger: What Disease?

Loner: Brain damage, and a Very bad liver cirrhosis. She was a heavy alcoholic for three decades. She started in her late twenties, but she quit very late, in her fifties.

Complete_Stranger: She Quit drinking? What made her do that?

Loner: I think, It was a someone she met in a cruise ship.

Complete_Stranger: :-)

Loner: A Woman.
A French Woman. She used to tell me about their conversations. She always called it her destiny to meet Nicole.
You know, they went to the same University when Granny was a student in London, in her teens. and, they even lived on the same street. But they never met until the cruise ship.

Complete_Stranger: Wow, Small world huh!

Loner: Yeah. and, they shared so many things in common, Both married very young at 23, and were in their late twenties when they lost their husbands, grandpa died, Nicole's divorced her.. and both never got remarried.

Complete_Stranger: ah, your grandmother lost her husband quite young.

Loner: I guess, that's why she started drinking. And then my parents died in a plane-crash, when I was six months old.

.....................LIGHTS OUT..............................

The computer fan took a few seconds to stop, then it was completely silent. She took a deep breath, and thought about lighting the bedside candle.

She lit the candle and saw her grandmother's picture. In The picture a grey haired woman was holding a paper boat, and behind her was vast water. And she was smiling. As Though, she was in love for the first time. "The only time", she thought.

It was a picture Nicole took, and the only picture her Granny had framed in her life. Granny had never framed her parents' pictures, her parents' hated Granny for being an alcoholic. But she loved her because Granny was just a sad woman. And everything changed after the cruise.

She placed the picture back on the shelf, and looked at the time in her cell phone.

It was 4:15 in the morning already."Shit!!!" was her reaction.

She had wasted her time.

"Complete_Stranger" was a stranger to her. She didn't know the person's age, or even if the person was male or female. nothing. She didn't want to know.Conversations she thought, are REAL if they are among strangers. There would be no emotions involved, no obligations, no attachments no embarassments. The purest form of conversation.

She goes to her cell phone MENU>APPLICATIONS>ALARMS. And stares at it- 12 P.M. She smiles at her stupidity.

"12 AM idiot, 12 AM" she says when she changes her alarm to 8:30 am.

She then checks her INBOX and CALL REGISTER. There were no messages, no missed calls, nothing.

No-one cares.

She places her cell phone beside her bed, puts her head on the pillow, covers herself with the blanket and says, "Happy Birthday Loner, You are 29, and all Alone in this world".
.................................................................................................


She would be late for work. But She didn't care. This was her day. After her bath, and her ritual infront of the mirror, she opened her birthday gift she bought for herself, "Christian Loubatins". Even though she found it on sale, it cost her a fortune. and Even though it was a bit tight for her, she bought it. She would wear it on special occasions only. It was sparkling red, and 3 inches. She owned it.

She took a taxi to her office today. She needed to feel like a queen, or at least a lady, just for this day. And she had no one to do this for her. When the taxi stopped, she acted as though the door was stuck, and politely asked the taxi driver to open the gate from outside. He did. She thanked him with a nice smile.

She had a bit of trouble walking with those tight shoes. When she reached her office she would open them and let her feet breathe.

She opened her shoes, hid it, and put on something comfortable and went for the the formalities in her office.

She first reports to her seniors, to let them know she is there, she makes passive small talks, then she moves to her desk along with people her age.

Her peers, every woman peer in there had the usual loud, showy, over-exposed way of greeting each other. Everyone was performing with the fake smiles, and fake hugs. Everyday!

She was close to these people, But She never shared with anyone there. Once, she made the mistake of saying her Grandmother was sick and in a hospital, the conversation carried from her grandmother to old torturing women to old men farting to motorcycles to lipsticks. That was the last time she really opened up with them.

"This is work, only work." She tells herself everyday.

The men were worse. She could always notice the men ogling at her breasts first before saying hello.

The seniors were too professional. They only cared about how much money you are making them. That was her only motivation to stay in that place.
....................................................................................

"Hey... Lunch?" one of her male peers asked her.

She didn't want to go out. Not with him, and not with those tight shoes.

"I'm fasting today. Tuesday"

She planned to have a party at night for herself.

When everyone went out for lunch, she went to the terrace, lit a cigarette and released a tail of smoke. This was her first one today. And she always loved the first smoke.

She never thought about her everyday life when she was smoking. She believed that the cigarette would make her mind wander away from this empty-lonely life.

She sat down on cement fence of the terrace.

She had started smoking after a very nasty breakup with her third boyfriend. All men she knew were chauvinists, sexists... everyone wanted to prove their manhood, and always say "women don't do this, and women don't do that", or "you could do this, this would suit you better". Like they knew what they were talking about.

She had no strength left in her to try again and again and again for some fairy tale, Cinderella ending to her life. She was turning 30.

Sometimes, she would take home a bottle of wine, and finish the whole bottle watching Animals on Discovery or National Geographic. It came to her a while after She lit another cigarette with red ashes first one She was turning into her granny.

Her Granny was the world to her, but she was an alcoholic to the world.

She smoked the last tail of smoke, and looked as the cigarette bud fell 5 floors below. "Life could end so easily if you give up."
...........................................................

Quitting time.

She waited till everyone else left the office. She couldn't wear the shoes in front of her peers. She wore the shoes for herself, she didn't wear it to show off to the brand vultures. She planned to go to Newroad for her birthday treat.

She dropped off at Sundhara. She walked till Kichapokhari. There were very less people in the street, and all the shops were closing.

She then heard loud noises coming from Sundhara. Another "Protest" she thought. She walked northwards, to new-road. Everything was shut. People were hurrying towards somewhere, like a huge storm was about to hit. She had never seen New-Road so empty. There were always people here.

She tried walking quickly towards the gate, but her shoes were tight, and her heels were three inches. Still, she tried walking fast.

Everything happened so suddenly. She didn't know what came first, A huge rolling, Burning Rubber Tire, OR The sound of whistles- artificial traffic whistles, man made whistles and cries of loud noises, OR that faint smell of very rotten egg, or worse, rotten garbage.

"Tear Gas", she knew this smell before. She walked faster, almost in a running speed. with the 3 inches, the shoe seemed to be crushing her fingers. She reached New Road gate, turned left, and saw a bus.

She so wanted to get on this bus. The bus was the only one, and looked like a school bus and some passengers were trying to get in. She wanted to get in the bus.

The bus was beside the new building of Bir Hospital, and she was running opposite the Kal Bhairav Temple.

She walked faster now. Faster. Faster. The bus was trying to move. And there. right there. She saw herself sitting on line to get on that bus.

She was still running from Kal Bhairav Temple to catch the bus.

She was not under the effect of the tear gas. She knows the effects of a tear gas. and this was not it. There are no hallucinations from tear gas. Now this time she saw herself getting on that bus. But it was not her. The coat the woman was wearing was not her's.

She was a different woman, but she looked exactly, in every shape and form, like herself. She had the same face as hers, the same hairstyle as hers... her clothes were different, but she had the same worried look in the face, the same body structure... she must have been 29 too... she wanted to know for sure.... she wanted to know who it was.

So, she opened her Christian Loubatins, and ran. Barefoot in the footpaths. Ran to know the person who got on the bus. Ran to know who the person was.

However, the bus was already jam packed and in motion. She reached the door of the bus, and she cannot get in. The driver will not stop because he is afraid the mob would devour his transport. The bus slowly was gaining acceleration.

She couldn't get in, she was sure of it. So she changed her tactics... She tried looking through the windows, trying to get her to possibly get down from the bus. She didn't find her in the sides, the bus was already picking speed.

At the back however, someone was tapping in the back window. It was her, the woman, the lady who looked exactly as herself... their eyes met.

The lady in the bus smiled, and she replied her smile. The bus started moving away. She was still running barefoot, and smiling with her red shoes in her hand.

Then the lady from the bus broke her gaze, and took out her cell phone, and pointed the camera towards the barefoot lookalike. The barefoot woman was still running, still holding the red shoes in her hands... and still smiling. And she took her picture.

The Bus went away.
The woman stopped running.
..............................................

She was home. She was looking at her mirror. She had not changed. She had spent an hour thinking about the woman in the bus. And then her eyes fell on her grandmother's picture. Her grandmother holding a paper boat.

"She took my picture" she thought. And she was holding her red shoes. She gifted herself those red shoes for this special day.

Maybe right now, the lady from the bus was looking at the picture from her cell phone. What would she ask her?

She looks into the mirror, she says,"Are you Married?? Do you have a boyfriend? Of course you do, You're so pretty... ha ha ha ha".

She asks again, "You know, today is my birthday... were we like separated when we were children? ha ha ha, but I don't know, that's not possible, only happens in Hindi Movies. Not Possible No???"

NO answer.

She then stops asking her questions, but telling her some things "You know, my Grandmother, went on a cruise once. She met a lover there. Nicole. And they promised never to contact each other ever, because, that sort of love could not exist then, so my grandmother made Nicole take a picture of her, with a paper boat... and today, you took a picture of me with my shoes... Do you know what I am talking about?"

No answer.- The mirror only shows her what she sees.

But she was smiling. She was somehow happy.

"You know, I used to feel like, I am all alone in this world. But you are there somewhere. Living as my self. It was my destiny to meet you. As... you and I have the same hairstyle, the same face, and same everything... I am not alone in this world... I am not... My decisions, my actions, affect others... you know... Yeah... I made you take my picture Didn't I???"

She was smiling. As though She was in Love for the first time. The only time.
................................................................................................

Tribute to Krzysztof Kieslowski,"La Double Vie De Veronique" (The Double Life of Veronique)

Friday, January 8, 2010

Confessions from KU: About Love (2006)

Confessions from Kathmandu University. About Love 2006

सन्दर्भ 4 वर्ष अगाडीको हो। २००६ तिर को। म, हामी, Media Studies को first Batch हरू 2nd Semester मा थियौँ। पहिले सत्र मा आफ्नै कक्षाका सहपाटीहरू र अरू School (विषय) पर्ढ्ने, जस्तै, School of Science, School of Engineering, काहरूलाई चिन्दा चिन्दै बित्यो। तर Media बाट थोरै मात्र घुलमिल हुन्थे त्यो बेला, अरूहरू सँग। कक्षाका धेरैको Routine, KU आउ, घर जाउ हुन्थ्यो।

घुल्मिलहुनेहरू लाई धेरैले चिन्थिए। KU वरीपरि बस्ने भएकोले होला। Kishor (GK) ra Bijen (राम्री) Hostel बस्थे, अनि, क्षितिज पेप्सी बस्थ्यो, म २८ किलो बस्थेँ, दिपक कहिले बनेपा कहिले २८....

कक्षाका सबैजना अरू Faculty सँग घुल्मिल पनि हुन्छन्,अलिकति Media Studies Goodwill पनि, अनि, Media Studies Group, हाम्रो Club को Activity पनि अनि, Charity पनि को लागि केही काम गरौँ , नयाँ काम गरौँ जस्तो लाग्यो। त्यही हो, 1st Year को जोश।

Film Festival गरौँ भनेर लाग्यौँ। किनभने, Isc मा नि गरिसकेका थियौँ, Isc मै २ वटा Film, 2 वटा Documentary, बकैदा Charity Event को लागि Makers, Distributors (फिलिमको लागि Jai Nepal) सँग KU मा गर्न पाउँ भनेर Permission लिएरै काम गरेका थियौँ। सार्है झन्झटिलो काम थियो, १ दिनको लाई मात्र गरेका थियौँ त्यो बेला। २ वटा Documentary- भेडाको ऊन जस्तो, र ईतिहास जित्नेहरुका लागि र, 2 वटा Films- School of Rock, र The Incredibles।

Media Studiesमा, Isc को Deepak, र म थियौँ।

यो पालि गर्दा खेरी, HBO, Cinemax, StarMovies, Cinema Hall, मा देखाउने फिलिम भन्दा पनि, Film Festival मा जाने खाले फिलिमहरू देखाऔँ, Media को Brand, एउटा छुट्टै Class मा बस्नु पर्छ भनेर लागियो।

त्यही सन्दर्भमा, हामीले, Russian Culture Center मा, "Anton Chekhov's About Love" भन्ने फिलिम हेरेको थियौँ ....आधी मात्र है तर। त्यो नि देखाम् जस्तो लाग्यो। किनभने, +2, Isc मा, English किताबमा About Love भन्ने छ। KU को Isc. मा थिएन है फेरी। पछि त्यो Story पढ्दा खेरी, Movie र Story मा थोरैमात्र तालमेल देखियो।

जे होस्। रुसी साँस्कृतिक केन्द्र, (Russian Culture Centre) बाट, Permission लिएर त्यो Movie ल्यायौँ।

अरू Movie, Documentary हरू पनि ल्याएका थियौँ। जस्तै, भेडाको ऊन जस्तो, स: कर्णाली, ईत्यादिको लागि अनेक Permission Slipहरुमा Signature गरी गरी ल्याएका थियौँ।
Hotel Rwanda, Motorcycle Diaries भने, बिना permission; तर Studio लाई एउटा Email पठाऔँ ।

अरूको छुट्टै कथाहरू छन्। यो कथा चाहीँ About Love को हो।

रुसी सांस्कृतिक केन्द्रमा हामीले About Love आधी भन्दा अलिकति बढीमात्र हेरेका थियौ। Russian Film, Subtitle सहित, रमाईलो नै थियो। त्यो फिलिम घर ल्याएर फेरी हेर्यौँ।

घरमा हेर्दा खेरी, About Love मा Last Last तिर, Physical Love पो रहेछ। सभ्य नेपालीमा भन्दा त्यो फिलिममा अश्लील,कुन्ठित दृश्य रहेछ। केटा केटी नाङ्गै हुन्छन्। केटीको स्तन मात्र देखाउने नाङ्गो होईन, पूरै नाङ्गो, माथि देखि तल सम्म। केटा पनि उही हो। फेरी नाङ्गो मात्र हुन्छन् है, अरू केही पनि हुन्न। तर आपत नै हो।

के गर्ने? त्यो Movie नै Cancel गर्ने? त्यो गर्न मिल्दैन थियो, सबैभन्दा धेरै Audience About Love ले नै ल्याउँथ्यो, किनकी, त्यस्को लागि Publicity कम चाहिन्थ्यो।

एक छिन काटेर देखाउने? जस्तो लाको थियो, झन्झट जस्तो भो। केही उपाय निस्किन्छ कि भनेर फेरी हेर्यौ, फेरी हेर्दा खेरी Normal लाग्यो। यति सम्म चल्छ जस्तो नि लाग्यो। अनि एक छिन पछि, बाल हो, यो भन्दा कति खत्तम हेरेका हुन्छन मान्छेहरूले भन्ने निस्कर्ष निस्कियो। तर एक चोटी हाम्रो Department Head लाई सोधुम्, Controversial कुराहो, Permission लिनु पर्छ।

हाम्रो Languages and Mass Communications को Head Of Department, जङ्गब चौहानलाई सोध्न गयौँ, दिपक बोल्यो, म साथ मात्र गाको। सर लाई "सर, filmमा अलिकति अश्लिल द्रश्यहरू छन्" भन्दा सरले के छ र भन्नु भो। दिपकले त्यो बेला भनेको अहिले पनि सम्झनामा छ- "केटी निबस्त्र हुन्छे"। निबस्त्र रे... म हाँसो रोकीराको थिँए... तर अन्तिममा, सरको remarks हरू positive नै थियो। Bachelor तहका विद्दार्थीलाई पच्छ भन्ने भयो, र Go Ahead, पाईयो।
.....................................

Marketing phase:

Poster बनायौँ, Anton Chekhov's About Love भनेर, तर, यो Film को Marketing, Poster ले भन्दा नि चियापसलमा, बाटोमा भेटेको बेला दिईएको "आउ है" ले बढी काम गर्थ्यो।

Marketing फरक Group लाई फरक किसिमको गरिन्छ। तर Product एउटै हुन्छ। हाम्रो अगाडी, केटा र केटी गरी, २ वटा Consumer Group हरू थिए। Product= About Love. Meaning Distort हुनु हुन्न, र Goal- Clear हुनु पर्छ।

हाम्रो Motive or Goal भनेको, Hall मा, धेरैलाई फिलिम देखाउनु थियो। Charityको लागि पैसा जम्मा गर्नु थियो।

यसरी गरियो:

KU का केटीहरूलाई "Anton Chekhov को, +2 मा पढ्नु पर्थ्यो नि, हो त्यही, Anton Chekhov's About Love" भन्दै बोलायौँ। उनिहरूलाई त्यति भने पुग्थियो। हाम्रो बुझाई अनुसार, पढेको कुरा हो, र फेरी Love Story भन्यो भने, केटीहरू उस्सै नि आउँथे।


केटाहरूलाई Love Story भन्यो भने कमै आउँथे, त्यसैले, Anton Chekhov भन्नै परेन, "केटाहो, About Love,Film, खतरा Scene छ, हेर्न आऊ है" भन्यौँ।

Natural हो। हाम्रो गोल Clear थियो, Motive अनुसार काम गर्यौँ।

केटीहरूलाई ढाँटेको पनि हैन, पूरै सत्य नभनेको, Film को नाम त त्यही थियो नि।
जसरी बोलाएपनि फिलिम राम्रो भए पुगेन र???

फिलिम वास्तवमा राम्रो थियो, सबैले हेरुन् भन्ने भयो।
.......................................................................................................

शोको दिन, Hall Pack थियो। Computer Block को Auditorium मा गरेका थियौँ। Student हरू पलेटी- कसेर फिलिम हेर्न बसिराको थिए।

म चाहीँ, सबैलाई देख्ने ठाऊँमा... Reaction हेर्न रमाईलो होला जस्तो लाको थियो।

आँटेको त हो नि, KU जस्तो ठाऊँमा, public मा, ल हेर निबस्त्रता... Charity को लागि भन्न सकेको, KU कै ईतिहासमा पहिलो चोटी होला। नभएनि, मेरो ६ वर्षको KU मा पहिलो चोटी नै हो ।

Anyway, Scene आयो.....
यस्तो छ- older केटी, younger केटा, दुबै Nude, अनि त्या भको Conversation ले Sex Scene कहिले नहेरेको मान्छेलाई अलिक आछु आछु नै बनाऊँछ। त्यस्तो कोही कोही मात्र हुन्छ... भन्ने मेरो बुझाई थियो। तर त्यहाँ भाको केटीहरूले मेरो बुझाई गलत बनाए।

केटीहरूले मात्र Reaction देखाए... बिचरा, कत्तिले नखरा भन्लान, कत्तिलाई चाच्चिकै अफ्ट्यारो भाको थियो होला... मलाई त Reaction हेर्न रमाइलो लाको थियो।

Scene आउन साथ- कोही केटीहरू मुख छोप्छन्, कोही, आँखा मात्र छोप्छन, कोही, आँखा छोपेको जस्तो गरेर औँलाको बीचबाट प्वाल बनाएर हेर्छन। तर कोही केटीहरू अटल, No Flinching, No reaction Whatsoeverपाराले बसिराको थिए, मुख छोप्नेहरूले तिनिहरूलाई सोध्थे, "सकियो" भनेर।

कोही केटाहरू लजाएका थिए Public मा porn हेरियो भनेर होला, कोही मख्ख थिए, तर धेरै केटाहरूले Naturally लिए... जुन चहीँ सोचेको जस्तै भाको थियो।

बसमा जानुपर्ने बाहेक, कोही छिटो निस्केनन्। र कोसैले पनि, "यो भएन, बन्द गर" भनेनन्।
पुरै कथा सकियो, कत्तिले "Good Job" पनि दिए। हामी हास्यौँ।
.......................................................................................

Objectively हेर्दा खेरी, हिन्दी Cinema को १० हजार वटा कम्मरको vulgar thrust हेर्न हुने रे, अनि, त्यही कुराको रसियन Alternative हेर्न नहुने??? खै...

केही, सम्झनाहरू नियाल्दा खेरी, यो पनि कैद रहेछ। Confessions भनेर राखे पनि, I am quite proud of this memory. हा हा हा....

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

100 before you die.. BBC

The BBC believes most people will have only read 6 of the 100 books here. How do your reading habits stack up?


1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen

2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien

3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte

4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling

5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee

6 The Bible

7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte

8 1984 - George Orwell

9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman

10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens

11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcot t

12 Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy

13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller

14 Complete Works of Shakespeare

15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier

16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien

17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulk

18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger

19 The Time Traveller’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger

20 Middlemarch - George Eliot

21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell

22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald

23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens

24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy

25 The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams

26 Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh

27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky

28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck

29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll

30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame

31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy

32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens

33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis

34 Emma - Jane Austen

35 Persuasion - Jane Austen

36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis

37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini

38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres

39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden

40 Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne

41 Animal Farm - George Orwell

42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown

43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez

44 A Prayer for Owen Meany - John Irving

45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins

46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery

47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy

48 The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood

49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding

50 Atonement - Ian McEwan

51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel

52 Dune - Frank Herbert

53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons

54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen

55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth

56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon

57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens

58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley

59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon

60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez

61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck

62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov

63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt

64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold

65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas

66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac

67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy

68 Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding

69 Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie

70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville

71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens

72 Dracula - Bram Stoker

73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett

74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson

75 Ulysses - James Joyce

76 The Inferno - Dante

77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome

78 Germinal - Emile Zola

79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray

80 Possession - AS Byatt

81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens

82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell

83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker

84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro

85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert

86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry

87 Charlotte’s Web - EB White

88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom

89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton

91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad

92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery

93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks

94 Watership Down - Richard Adams

95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole

96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute

97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas

98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare

99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl

100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo


thre is no earnest hemingway?? old man and the sea??? UHHHHHHH....